Zen Devotees Pillows

'Never, NEVER sneeze while you're levitating.'

"Behold the secret to happiness."

"Ooh, ooh, I know this koan! I got it! Pick me! Pick me!"

'Don't just sit there thinking. Meditate.'

"I'm TRYING to extinguish my ego, but I feel so CONSPICUOUS up here!"

'The sound of one hand clapping.'

'He attained Nirvana in two weeks? - he's GOTTA be using steroids!'

"Try picking up a girl after you've renounced everything."

'Which would be more Zen ? a pizza with nothing, or a pizza with everything?'

"Chop wood, carry water, walk dog."

"She's been in shavasana for - like - a really long time...."

'Do you ever just feel like getting AWAY from it all?'

When Buddha came to nirvana.

How's my enlightenment? Call 1-800-Nirvana.

'Now, until you've attained perfect wisdom, you'll have to learn to evade questions.'

Man can levitate but can't hold fingers properly.

''Faith can move mountains'? -- That's actually a little disturbing.'

"You can tell us the sound of one hand clapping here, or you can tell us downtown."

Working from OM.

'Here goes the second bottle of champagne... I think it would be fair of You to tell me what are my chances so I know whether to order another bottle or not...'

'Well, you heard wrong -- Zen Buddhism doesn't have a Missouri Synod.'

"It's either enlightenment or excruciating boredom."

"Exactly what is this 'nothing' I've been hearing so much about?"

'At least with math and physics you sometimes find the answer.'

"I used to be a young crazy rebel like you you know."

Zen Litter Box

'Frankly I'm all meditated out.'

"You’ll get nothingness and like it."

'At least with math and physics you sometimes find the answer.'

Zen Master Huineng

"My mental ink pen ran dry.

'Lost in the Jungle I found this Buddhist retreat...'