Doze Devotee Pillows

'That's Frank's lazy eye.'

"Ya know, 'DUH' can be a very hurtful word."

Mike (The Situation) is rumored to have written the original manuscript for his best-selling memoir entirely out of bronzer.

'Dr.Sall Thompson got so excited over the new spring design she took a quantum leap!'

Overjumpers

It's about self-control. "'No Thyself".

"Bonk!"

'What's most depressing is the realization that everything we believe will be disproved in a few years.'

'You know, I never have had a sabbatical....'

"I'd call that 'A victory for science.'

Arms race - USA and Russia.

'No Jake, I don't want to watch you do it again.'

Chuck didn't care what his therapist said; that is not where he left his dummy.

'What a control freak!'

Two men in T-shirts, one shirt says Jesus loves me, the other Jesus loves me more.

"But you both can't be the 'father' of Ammonium Pentoxide Phosphate."

"Three more classes and I get my belt."

"And if you look to the right you'll see what happens if you disrupt my class."

'You know, sometimes I find it pretty hard to imagine these will be the ‘good old days.''

"Ohhh... He's out all right!"

War and Peace

"I try to get a head start on them."

Give Thanks.

Man to lady: 'Prisons are overcrowded, so we're seeing more sentences of timeout instead.'

"Then write it up for The Journal of Surprising Discoveries."

"Hold on there buddy, that's not a KJV Bible." (two men talking, one with a Bible)

'Now that's devotion. Two broken arms and still working.'

'You know, I think this is my most boring reincarnation ever!'

"If you're happy and you know it, stick with your dosage."

'Boys will be boys, but principals will also be principals!'

"Do you have anywhere our friends won't have discovered?"

Throw-Your-Voice Mail.

"I find it difficult to like him. He's too good at being humble."

"Tomorrow - it's always tomorrow with you. I tell you, I'm getting pretty fed-up with your mood-swings. . ."

'You were talking in your sleep again.'