Zamboni Driver T-Shirts

"Hells Angels, Zamboni Division"

Yeah, I've been driving in circles for an hour looking for a place to park. Zamboni.

"I'm watching the hockey game. The score is 4 nothing for the Zamboni driver."

Team Leader

"What road do you want to dart across today?"

"I hear you bought a new classic car."

"These colder temperatures always cause my tire pressure to drop—it's a good thing I stopped to check." Peter finally grows up.

"What old school? This is my life."

Kangaroo mom to child, 'We're not going anywhere until you buckle-up, young man.'

'So much for your new Satnav!'

Doug fights back at soaring gas prices.

"More quarters! For God's sake, more quarters!!"

"I want to be straight with you, Cathy—I've gone through a number of cars in my life."

All of our representatives are busy right now. Stay on the line and someone will be with you in a few miles.

"Ralph's smart car not only drives better than he does, it also works better. So we fired him and hired the car."

My other car has a bumper sticker that says this on it too.

Three lanes of traffic with the first two lanes crowded with turtles. The third lane (to the left) a couple rabbits speeding along without any traffic. An easy pass sign has carrots replacing dollars.

"It's an honest mistake I'm sure we'll never hear of again."

"In my own country I didn't drive a taxi."

Stop, Smell Roses (stop and smell the roses)

"I had an Android, then I switched to an iPhone. Then I went back to an Android, then I switched back to the iPhone. . ."

Better times ahead.

Lady about flat tire: 'It's not too bad - it's only flat on the bottom.'

Through Traffic Keep Left/We're Through Traffic Keep Right

Just drive in small circles, then drop me off by that bush. Poober.

'I hate to tell you this, but enlightenment just isn't for commuters.'

Exit Next Left

"No officer, I didn't what the speed limit was. Those signs were going by too fast."

GPS can still have a few bugs in the system.

"Remember, when you back up, make that 'beep beep' sound."

"I'm pretty sure my self-driving car is moonlighting for Uber behind my back."

'God's speed.'

'I told you not to rely on the sat-nav.'

"What gear are we in, biscuit?"

'Isn't that a little extreme? - Cloning yourself just so you can use the carpool lane?'