Yuppie Mum Pillows

'You can jump down yourself, darling - Mummy's on her mobile.'

"I see that he is growing as fast as your law firm."

"Pick me!"

"He was overly socialized as a puppy."

"I'd like to get my hands on whoever coined the phrase 'sleeps like a baby'."

"Those are the names of your children? I went a different route...I memorized my kids' names."

Tiny dog catches frisbee that spins him around in circles.

"Mom! Don't think of me as covered with sand. Think of me as sugar coated."

"Okay, that's enough Physics for one day. Take a break and chase your tails."

"When I first arrived, Young Master was always with me and Old Master didn't want anything to do with me, nor it's the opposite: Go figure..."

"Just kick back and enjoy this. These are the nest years of our lives!"

Pet a Puppy

"I'm not eating cookies before dinner. I'm having cookies for dinner!"

"What makes you think I'm dripping it on my shirt?"

"I told you. . . use your inside miming."

'We can't go on meeting like this'.

Lamb Noise.

"I'm new here. How much do we leave for a tip?"

"Here's one: 'Youth Frisbee Camp', from 9 a.m. to 3 p.m. on Tuesdays." "Naw... Go back to that first one, for 'early chewers', wasn't that one a sleep-over camp?"

Suffering from Cooties?

'Don't be alarmed if you hear the toilet flush a lot. Since you don't feel well, I thought I'd wash the dishes for you.'

"It's a beautiful world out there, just waiting to be discovered. Well, discovered by one of you, the rest will almost certainly die."

"It's called geometry, Mum."

"Listen. Nobody's cuter than anyone else! You're all equally cute!"

"Adopted? It's cute how you think we would've picked you."

'The girls must be feeling better...'

"Sorry Tina, I won't be able to come over: Joey is finally asleep and I don't dare move..."

Kangaroo - Mum dropping her ice-cream on Joey's head.

'It's no problem, Mom. Samantha just likes to check on my table manners.'

"Now I think of Mom whenever it's cold."

"The good news is...you've one less window to wash."

'He's going to be an estate agent, just like his Dad.'

"Instead of taking a bath can I wear a flea collar?"

"Then what happened?"

"I hate you! You don't understand me and you don't understand my software!"