Yuppie Enthusiast Gifts

"You remind me of why I found the eighties wanting."

"Pick me!"

'My bark may be worse than my bite, but I've got a whine that will drive you up a wall!'

"Okay, that's enough Physics for one day. Take a break and chase your tails."

Beware the Dog: 'Hopefully I'll grow into the job...'

"Here's one: 'Youth Frisbee Camp', from 9 a.m. to 3 p.m. on Tuesdays." "Naw... Go back to that first one, for 'early chewers', wasn't that one a sleep-over camp?"

Obedience School Graduation

'Who wants to be examined first?'

Dogma

"It's a boy, ... and two girls, then another boy, another girl, and there more boys."

'The vet said that getting spayed might hurt a little. But having nine puppies hurt a little, too.'

"This is why I want you to remember the three most important words in the world: spay, neuter, adopt."

"We're going to pay for your obedience school but after that you're on your own."

A Change of Scene.

'Boy, am I going to be pleased when the pregnancy is over...'

"Drinks all round!!"

'Want a mudpie? It's organic!'

War never felt the same after the Great Puppy Ambush.

"I yip, therefore I am."

'I can see the practical side of fetching, but what's the point of rolling over?'

Dogs in a basket

"Have you considered trying for a puppy?"

'Puppies' at that playful stage where he likes to rearrange the furniture.'

"Secondhand books, reheated coffee"

"Your blood pressure is too high. Take two of these."

"Look, Mommy. Puppy already knows a trick! What should we call him?" "How about 'Scooter.'"

'Oooh, honey, will you get me that one?!'

"No not the puppy please"

"We keep revisiting this leash thing... Why is it so difficult for him?"

Alice in Wonderland - Alic e Meets a Puppy.

"Read this. It's a draft of a novel I'm writing fro the young adult market. I want to make sure there's absolutely nothing in it you can relate to."

'They should have extra-small thermometers for Yorkies, Doctor!'

Dog

"You're right, he is smiling. Now get him to stop."

'You've got me a puppy for Christmas, haven't you?'