Yule Time Planner Gifts

'Apparently our postcode qualifies us for Government sponsored loft insulation.'

Airlines

Santa sits in front of computers with naughty data and nice data screens.

"Christmas drinks 'n' nibbles system"

"As you can see, I've alphabetized the items, presents owing if you will, so if you can digitally initial here, here, here, here and here and sign there. Thank you. See you December 24."

-'but for a full English breakfast you can't beat Blackpool,sir.'

Mr. Punch in Venice

"I ask that today is a good day...a day that brings family together...to show how we need one another."

Italia tours

Heading off with a packed bag

"What are you doing? It's Halloween. Not leaving your deliveries to the last minute this year?"

'This one is a bit different - twelve Indian call centres in eight days.'

"I'll be there in three 'All Too Well's."

"Could you help me fit nine days work into five and still see my family?"

"I know it’s a challenge, but it needs your input!" "...Your breadth of knowledge of different interest groups, religions...cultures!" "Right, so the staff Christmas meal will be a traditional lacto-vegan one at a Thai restaurant sometime in March?" "Do you think the Pagans will be OK with that?"

'Tom will coordinate our pre-holiday point-of-purchase displays and Mark will coordinate our post holiday point-of-return displays.'

Man on beach realizes laying down flattens his stomach

Excess Baggage: Sooner or later all those vacation bills come due.

Wizard of Oz - repeat fees

'No, no, no. You guys are way off! This isn't even the cat. You guys are on the dog.'

'We must have everything... this is all that's left!'

A tourist struggling with loads of luggage

"We can't go. We don't have enough carbon offset credits to get to the Grand Canyon."

'Let it go, Amy.'

"Well, all I know is he left on vacation to unwind... and he never wound-up again!"

'I'm tired of sitting and staying.'

'The travel agent says there's nothing available on the port side. Do you want me to see if she's got anything on the sherry side?'

"I've been invited to two different thanksgivings...One with family, one with friends, which one do I go to?"

Moths fly to Blackpool for illuminations: 'I'm telling you, you're gonna love it.'

Pre-Winter Ennui-'Hon, did you have the furnace checked?'

'Let's open presents Christmas Eve AND morning. That way Christmas lasts for TWO days.'

"What happened to the good old Jewish holidays when all we used to do was eat?"

"Wait a minute- these are just the ten commandments of perfect mashed potatoes."

"Don't worry, darling! I've set something up so the kids don't get bored on the trip."