Youtube Producer Gifts

"So how much money do you make?"

"The Net National Product rose slightly last month."

"And just like that, e got rid of Florida."

'He really wanted to get into the zombie role, so he became a Meth-Head actor.'

"For the best picture not having won anything thereby being eliminated from this category..."

Showbiz Awards

Producer, Director and Novelizer.

Department of Theatre, Film and Television: Lights...Camera...Unemployment!

Lennon and McCartney.

"I'll do the movie but I want to be highly compensated and highly acclaimed."

"If this goes badly I'm going to post it on my youtube job interview bloopers channel."

Ernie Studios. Hi, Ernie. What movies are you working on? We have a script about astronauts marooned on a planet filed with talking gorillas who are in hard economic times. I think I'll call it "The Apes of Wrath"! We're casting "Reignman." The central character is a savant monarch. And we're filming a movie about a suburban town populated by women with strange, long hair ... It's called "The Stepford Weaves."

'Big audio gear is coming back!'

"Don't worry - I'm here for the television."

"After the show, I'll be autographing any computer or phone screens where my albums are streamed."

"And now here's Cathie with the hypothetical portion of the news."

"It was years ago, for a nature documentary, and they said it was going to be very artistic."

Working in the Hazard Zone!

Cut!

'Okay, folks, that's a wrap!'

"The following program was made possible by fluctuations in the random chaos of the Universe...."

"Seth, here, is one of the best young creative compromisers in the business."

"I'm sorry, we're looking for the voice of a spunky animated turnip and your reading is more fruit than vegetable if you understand what I mean."

"Same story every morning - 'Can you come and fix our windmill?'..."

"And by president we mean the one on Saturday night tv, not the real one. He kinda sucks."

"Now we move over to the sports desk."

TV jester.

'Gosh, really? You've never been on any reality show at all?'

There's a crew here from 60 minutes and they're coming this way.

'Do you realize that we're sitting in a prefabricated house, eating precooked dinners, and listening to Chris Matthews' opinions?'

'Good news. We're not Daft Punk.'

Applause

"It's basically the 'Tragedy of King Lear' but with animated penguins."

'Contrary to the popular view, our studies show that it is real life that contributes to violence on television.'

Canadian film production