Youtube Producer Gifts

"The Net National Product rose slightly last month."

"And just like that, e got rid of Florida."

'He really wanted to get into the zombie role, so he became a Meth-Head actor.'

"For the best picture not having won anything thereby being eliminated from this category..."

Showbiz Awards

Producer, Director and Novelizer.

"I'll do the movie but I want to be highly compensated and highly acclaimed."

Department of Theatre, Film and Television: Lights...Camera...Unemployment!

"If this goes badly I'm going to post it on my youtube job interview bloopers channel."

"Don't worry - I'm here for the television."

'Big audio gear is coming back!'

"After the show, I'll be autographing any computer or phone screens where my albums are streamed."

"And now here's Cathie with the hypothetical portion of the news."

"It was years ago, for a nature documentary, and they said it was going to be very artistic."

Working in the Hazard Zone!

"The following program was made possible by fluctuations in the random chaos of the Universe...."

'Okay, folks, that's a wrap!'

"Seth, here, is one of the best young creative compromisers in the business."

"I'm sorry, we're looking for the voice of a spunky animated turnip and your reading is more fruit than vegetable if you understand what I mean."

"Same story every morning - 'Can you come and fix our windmill?'..."

"Now we move over to the sports desk."

"And by president we mean the one on Saturday night tv, not the real one. He kinda sucks."

Applause

'Gosh, really? You've never been on any reality show at all?'

'Do you realize that we're sitting in a prefabricated house, eating precooked dinners, and listening to Chris Matthews' opinions?'

TV jester.

"It's basically the 'Tragedy of King Lear' but with animated penguins."

'Contrary to the popular view, our studies show that it is real life that contributes to violence on television.'

Canadian film production

'... and the winner for 'The Noisiest Picture of the Year' is...'