Youthful Schemer T-Shirts

Young man at the beach asking friend to kiss his sister hoping he can then kiss friends sister

"One day, my boy, all this will be retirement homes."

The game is tied, and this is the final inning because the sun is setting. I understand, coach, I need to get home before dark!

Reverse Ageing Laboratory

"Watch this! All the balls scattered at random around the table."

"Look before I leap - always. 'Think' before I leap - never!"

'Push'n 50, but ya still got it!!'

'Now then, Simpkins. What makes you think you could become a circus clown?'

"My assistant is more of a behind-the-scenes kind of guy."

"It's a setup."

Child Testing Santa Claus's Generosity

Girl trying to be a woman

"I guess when you run out of Tooth Fairy teeth, you gotta go get a job!"

"Debit card, no problem. Any cash back?"

'I want to go into farming,sir the idea of sowing wild oats sounds fascinating!'

Biblical Teenager

"So you want to hide it from other squirrels by presented to deposit it in savings, then taking it back and putting it in a secret account?"

Man throwing a paper dart.

Who...what...why...when...where...whatever...

"You should have purchased the extended warranty."

The Fountain of Youth.

"Here's the problem, I grabbed the wrong map. This isn't the Fountain of Youth. This is the Fountain of Middle Age."

'I'm thinking about running for president. Not this term but as soon as I'm allowed to cross the street by myself.'

"I'm playing Santa in the Christmas play. I need a pillow and eight tiny reindeer by Friday."

"Doing chores is very stimulating. I'm always thinking of ways to avoid them."

Old man stealing sand from a sand box for child

'Danae...you seem to spend twice the time and energy in avoiding your schoolwork than it would take to actually do the work...How far do you expect that'll get you in life?'

'Some of these young school leavers aren't remotely prepared for the realities of the modern work environment.'

"Well, if age is just a number, then I'd like thirty-two!"

'Hope you like the oversized furniture. It helps me feel young.'

'All right, who broketh the window!'

'Not a bad day. I started a phony company in computer lab, made a public stock offering over lunch hour and socked away fifteen million into an off-shore bank account before afternoon recess!'

"This is an imaginative expenses claim. I wish we could use those skills of yours in the business."

"May I have your attention? For Christmas, all I want is for everyone to write a note on how smart, charming and social I am. I'm collecting college reference letters before I enter my terrible teens."

'I'd like to buy a frame that adds youth to a portrait.'