Youthful Living Gifts

"So you dreamed you were an adult?"

"I never thought turning eighty would be so much fun!"

"You're in perfect health and look half your age – I'm prescribing something to help you shut up about it."

Children arguing over the name of a fish

"Went with the hair plugs I see."

'Of course she hasn't aged a bit. She's married to a plastic surgeon!'

"If they do let anyone go I don't think age will be a consideration. You shouldn't kill yourself trying to look younger than you are."

"You used to be a lot more fun."

'There's so much I want to do with my life...before I reach the age of criminal responsibility, that is.'

"I'm thinking about letting myself get old."

"I cranked up the dose a tad. Why should kids have all the fun?"

"Botox."

'I don't think re-living your childhood means you can go apple scrumping in next doors garden.'

"Miriam keeps me young."

"The next one is a hard-rockin', kick-ass, take-no-prisoners tune we wrote about turning sixty."

"He may be 90 but he's got the body of an 85 year old."

Cloud Cuckoo Land, "Sometimes Doris wished that Charlie hadn't stayed so young at heart

'Doctor, how can I prevent wrinkles? Don't sleep in your clothes.'

You're only young once but apparently there's no limit on childish. (Published originally on January 15, 2008.)

Active pensioner.

"I need you to line up by attention span."

'The position calls for a mature person with young ideas.'

He Loves me... He loves me not... He loves me... Hey, this flower is missing a petal!

The Ageing Process.

Too young to be a grandma

'Dad, what were you like when you weren't a kid?'

Hit Me

Lemonade/Prune-aid

"Last one to the top's a geriatric."

"He said he's doing all he can to help me, but he can't make me any younger. But I have no interest in getting younger! I just don't want to keep getting older."

'Wow! You really do look just like your baby pictures.'

'My problems seem small to you because you're so darn BIG'

You've got the body of a man less than half your age

"I think I'll go home and start some unhealthy eating habits I'll live to regret."

Skateboard Park. Lessons Available. The instructor taught me all I need to know in ten minutes. He said "forget it."