Youth Ministry Pillows

"The hardest thing about being a youth pastor is keeping my sermons to 140 characters or less."

"If anyone wants me, Ms. Clark, I'll be down in the youth department."

JOIN THE BOY SCOUTS HERE!, ''Trustworthy, friendly, loyal, helpful, kind, courteous, brave, thrifty, obedient and cheerful' -- This is going to look GREAT on my resume!'

'Well, Scout Smith, escort the little old lay across the street.'

"...and I, Pastor Smith...preaching to you now from this pulpit, speak to you from experience about the 'strong-willed' child...BELIEVE me!"

Alice in Wonderland - six impossible things before breakfast

"Fellas, I invited Max here to give us a fresh, millennial take on how to get out of the inning."

"And the way you kids kick ass today will speak volumes about the leaders of tomorrow you will be."

Regardless children just want to fit in.

Mentoring Unit: 'Go on! You can do it! You can be a mentor!'

The end of innocence

'Hmmphhhh ... High on Life. Now that's something the government ought to regulate.'

'He loves me...he loves me not...he loves me...hey, this flower is missing a petal!'

Teens.

'What does the Scout manual say about this situation?'

"I don't get this whole age thing...I waited all year to turn nine, but now I don't feel any older!"

When a teen finds out his parents are volunteering in the youth group.

He Loves me... He loves me not... He loves me... Hey, this flower is missing a petal!

"We don't make cookies anymore - I'm selling Girl Scout apps."

'Apart from illiteracy, low self esteem, homelessness, poverty and a broken home. I can't find any reason for his offending behaviour!'

'Can you prove it's your hat?'

"It's weird...all I wanna do is hit fast forward, and all my parents can talk about is hitting rewind."

'You're too young...to have good 'ol days.'

Alcohol and Tobacco Danger

"Give me insights on marketing to your age demographic...and I'll give you a bright shiny penny."

Criminal Youths Need Help Instead of Punishment!

Respect Zone: 'We respect yobs.'

"Son, I really wish I could tell you that "Cowboy Ballerina" is a normal part of growing up, but... it's not."

Whatever

"I'm class president. I need a really big airplane."

'Why can't I deduct my trip to Youngstown? I'm a youth pastor.'

'Jake - how long have you been our youth pastor?'

"Enjoy your youth. Soon you'll be an old cynic like me with nothing worth barking at."

The Minor Issue