Youth Fitness Gifts

Exercising

Football Fans

The trauma of losing.

"Did you know that when my mom played soccer, only the winner got a trophy?"

'I don't understand why you always put me in goal?!'

'Yes, Jenny, I know I'm always reminding the team to be good sports, but you really don't have to thank the ref after every call.'

"I will always cheer you on, but I will never 'Woo-hoo!' you."

"Gracie, I'm proud of you. Your team lost, but you tried your best and that's all that counts."

Are You a Quarathlete? Nifty Exercises You Can Do In Lockdown

"There will be a winning team and a losing team. Are you OK with that?"

"Viola player coming through!"

'Of course she hasn't aged a bit. She's married to a plastic surgeon!'

"If they do let anyone go I don't think age will be a consideration. You shouldn't kill yourself trying to look younger than you are."

"I'm starting slowly with a trainer who just stands around talking about his personal life."

'Please, could you me to Polish my diet!'

Runt! You'll never make the team. We'll see! You can't even tie your shoelace! Great technique!

'There's so much I want to do with my life...before I reach the age of criminal responsibility, that is.'

'I was up twice and got one hit, which gives me an lifetime average of 500!'

"I'm with grandad now - yeah, he's fighting fit."

'Nice Header, Lauren!'

The young Michael Phelps: 'Just another four laps and I'll get out!'

"So you dreamed you were an adult?"

'You can't start them exercising too early.'

"Miriam keeps me young."

'We would deliver if we could cross the street.'

Mentoring Unit: 'Go on! You can do it! You can be a mentor!'

The end of innocence

"I've never been into the other team's end... what's it like?"

"Can we fast forward through the 7th inning stretch?"

You're only young once but apparently there's no limit on childish. (Published originally on January 15, 2008.)

'...And remember' It's not whether your dads win or lose the fight in the stands. It's how you play the game.'

'Young players have a tendency to forget fundamentals over the winter.'

'He loves me...he loves me not...he loves me...hey, this flower is missing a petal!'

'No, the Tower of Babel wasn't built for better phone reception.'

'Ha! Here's your problem. You haven't been taking the human growth hormones. Someone sold you some other kind of hormone.'