Youth Chasers T-Shirts

"I've looked at their viewer profiles and if we watch this channel we'll be 20 years younger."

Large Dollar Sign Office Block

Mister Mid-Life Crisis

"... And finally, I’d like to thank the FDA for approving Botox."

"When did she start crawling?"

'I'm into New Age. My new age is 26.'

"More quarters! For God's sake, more quarters!!"

"Remember, you're only as old as your peel."

"Can he call you back? He and his mid-life crisis are celebrating their tenth anniversary."

Dr. and Mrs. Steven Mueller.

Wally's dye job...makes his hair look 25 years younger.

"Has anyone seen my therapist?"

"Now how did she know?"

"I had a consultation with a plastic surgeon. Now I have to decide whether I want to look old or look weird."

Have you heard that time is not a constant, Randy? Of course, little buddy It's called "time dilation." Time moves slower for objects in motion than it does for objects that sit still. I'm a prime example. I haven't aged a day in decades. I still have rippling muscles, a smooth pelt, glistening teeth, twinkling eyes, a raging libido, and the boundless confidence of youth ... all because I'm always on the move. I'm writing a study on it for the Journal of Temporal Hotness. I've been meaning to as

"Can you give me something that will send me back to 1969?"

'Shouldn't you be somewhere clawing yourself to the top, or something?'

Ladder of Success.

Happiness

"I want someone I can grow old and have plastic surgery with."

"You're ruthless in your ambition, Henderson- I admire that."

'You know, sometimes I find it pretty hard to imagine these will be the ‘good old days.''

'He's training for a career in law.'

"She clawed her way to the top."

'Take ten years off the top.'

'Oh grow up !' (Child annoying old couple drinking from fountain of youth).

"I can check again, but I'm pretty sure no one has handed in your lost youth."

"Professor Case, your longevity studies are just awesome."

"A movie deal, a recording contract, clothing line, rehab, first marriage, fragrance, baby, second marriage, reality show …"

"I heard raising your grandkids can help keep you young. Please tell me there's an easier way."

"I was pushing fifty and then it sneaked up behind me."

"Which celebrities do this type of yoga?"

After decades of research, Prof. Lorenzen finally found a way to stop ageing.

Lots of People Would Consider Me Young...if they were alive today.

Perpetual Motion.