Youth Center Supporter Gifts

Young Man, there's no need to feel down..

"Winning isn't everything, Josh. Not being the reason your team loses is everything."

'Well, Scout Smith, escort the little old lay across the street.'

"Fellas, I invited Max here to give us a fresh, millennial take on how to get out of the inning."

"What I miss during school holidays is not going out on strike every Friday."

'Hmmphhhh ... High on Life. Now that's something the government ought to regulate.'

'I'm the new kid on the team. Where's my signing bonus?'

"Benjamin, we've discovered, is quite gifted at third base."

When a teen finds out his parents are volunteering in the youth group.

'My goldfish died. I over-watered him.'

"We don't make cookies anymore - I'm selling Girl Scout apps."

Adult Crime, Not Adult Logic

"It's been a tough season, and you tried your hardest, son. But you're being traded."

Alcohol and Tobacco Danger

'Guys! Everyone yelling ‘What the hell' in unison is not my idea of team spirit!'

'I'm guessing it'll have to be by text.'

"Okay everyone come and get your helmets and pads - players' sizes on the left, parents' on the right."

What's this about? The recession is devastating chain stores. Save our mall. They're the lifeblood of teen culture as we know it. What are your solutions? We're having a massive shop-in this Saturday! Shop 'til you drop. Big $$. Like a day of service? Exactly! But you'll feel even better about yourself.

The Minor Issue

Enola Holmes/Millie Bobby Brown

Girl to mother: 'Don't call me a teenager. From now on, I want to be referred to as a pre-adult.'

Courting The Youth Vote

'I just think everyone in the family should have the same rights and privileges.'

'Don't get me wrong, I love children. I'm just not ready to hire them.'

'I don't like to be called a 'senior citizen'. I prefer the term 'mature playmate''

'If youth is so important why didn't god give the ten commandments to someone younger?'

"There aren't many jobs for teenagers these days."

Gen Z

"My mom said I can't come here anymore." "What? Why not, Billy?" "She said she sends me here to get hot chocolate, not to get bad relationship advice." "What 'bad' advice? All my advice is solid gold." "You told me to call the IRS with an anonymous tip about Andrea Wheaton's father avoiding taxes, so next time he tells her I'm a bad influence he'll look like a hypocrite." "That didn't work?"

Adult Crime, Not Adult Logic

I'd rather be playing video games but I can't quit Little League...

"Let's hope on this visit there are no runs, no hits, no errors."

"You are polling very well with the highly motivated 18 to 26 year olds who never vote."

We are 50 going on 15...

'We're not called young offenders social workers any more. I'm a scum whisperer.'