Young Parent Gifts

'Sorry, sweetie -- they're not that kind of cookies.'

"No, four glasses of water was enough. . . now I have to go to the bathroom!"

TAP TAP TAP TAP

"Actually, it is a bad time — I’m rushing to get the kids out of the oven."

"That's all I get? A sonogram? No tracking number?"

'He's not talking yet, but his texting skills are excellent...'

'You never compliment me when it's tidy so I figured you wouldn't notice when it's a tip!'

Next gen pregnancy tests.

"Hang on. Mommy's just checking to see if she's still relevant to the outside world."

Coming Soon - Maternity Clinic. Coming Soon After - Law Firm Dealing in Medical Malpractice.

A child sitting on a swing - while playing with a hand-held electronic device or phone

"Yeah, you could say I've got mother issues....she told me I have to move out!"

"He just said his first word!"

Amazon Drones Delivering Babies

"Oh, Frank, look! He's sending his first tweet!"

The Complete Book of Baby Names. Oooh, what do you think of 110101110110? Isn't that cute?

"That table is yours once that party decides to move to the suburbs."

'Those are my triplets. Com, Net and Org Barnes.'

Kid is 'Born to Text'.

"Congratulations. The ultrasound shows the baby is healthy, a boy and already knows more about technology than you."

"Never mind Benjamin – he just lawyers-up to get attention."

"If I turn it up I might get out of here quicker!"

Toddler Feeding Solutions

"Mum's biological clock is ticking away...OOPS!...my mistake. That's indigestion."

Baby, baby maker

"With the baby-cam, there is no privacy."

Baby's First Words... Hi Guys!

'OK Mr and Mrs Johnson let's spin the wheel and find you a child!'

-THIRTY thousand? I thought you wanted TEN thousand? -I'm having triplets!

"I told you not to touch it. I should've used your language and told you not to click on it."

'Don't worry about gaining weight after the baby - you'll run it off during the toddler years.'

"I brought frankincense." "I brought gold." "I brought diapers!" "A wise woman!"

You're right-this is way better than a standing desk.

"Dear Mum. As contractions begin I thank you for letting me share your uterus. When do I get my bond money back??"

'Have you googled me to see how old I was when I was born?'