Young Confectionery Critics Gifts

"If a fruit doesn't have a lolly flavour, is it a real fruit?"

Our visit to the flan factory.

Paris' magnificent Trifle tower.

You know, the snowballs we get in the summer are better. They're flavored!

"Yes, but this one is made of Chiclets."

Parisian man eating pastries

Boy baking a cake.

"We like to think he's experimenting with color and form, but his art therapist suggested we're not giving him enough candy."

"Eating a diet rich in vibrant colors does not mean a bowl of Skittles."

"Put away the gummy candies and bring out the apples. The kid's mother is our dentist!"

Deicing on the cake.

"When they assured me the solar panels would look like crackers, I said "What the hell!"'

"The cookies are always stale."

"We couldn't find a raw-vegan, gluten-free, sugar-free, non-G.M.O. cake for your birthday, so we got you nothing."

"I'll have the carrot cake, hold the carrots."

The Schematic map of Miss Mathilda's afternoon assortment box of Bonbons

"Wow, interesting, looks like she's not just being mean: research shows that chocolate is actually bad for us. . ."

'Bon Bons Away!'

"The originator of the office birthday party."

Greedy child

"Med Brittle"

"You're losing your everything."

"Let's see if there's another witch's cottage with a better candy selection."

'These fortune cookies are outdated. They quote Greenspan instead of Bernanke.'

Candy Land for Adults

I feel like I'm starting to hate everyone, doc. Dr. Noodle. I hate the stranger who shook his head in disgust at me when he saw I was in an interracial relationship. I hate the lady who cut me off in traffic and almost ran me off the road this morning. I hate the dentist who convinced me I needed a $350 mouth guard when I could've bought one just as good for $25 at Target. I hate the girl scout who sold me six disgusting boxes of ten-year-old Samoa cookies. That's ... ten? I hate myself for not

'I appear to have underestimated the appetite of the modern child...'

"I got horse dewormer..."

Why Chemists shouldn't take their work home "I can't believe it's not b-b-vegetable mono & dyglycerides!"

Ice-cream van jingle championships.

'These are exquisite! You simply must give me your recipe.'

My budgie likes Mars bars.

'Kevin's Mom makes wonderful cookies. Let's go over to Eddie's house. His Mom makes wonderful lemonade.'

'These are Trans-Fat free, right?'

'I hate chocolates that are gooey inside but I love Valentine's cards that are all gooey inside.'