Young Champion Lover Gifts

"I don't mind losing to him, but does he have to use those little plastic clubs?"

'Remember last Saturday. . . you were bold that day. No dear, caught.'

"Don’t worry, girl. I’m working on our ‘no puppy left behind.’"

The next damn Batman.

"Of course I love you, I'm just busy with other men."

Sports Memorabilia: Help wanted-losers need not apply.

Couple

'It must be love if your sneakers melted!'

Same Sex Wedding

A man forming a heart symbol with his hands

'Talk about lack of trust! My trainer didn't even bet on me, but I showed him: I won the race!'

'Look, Dad! It's a masked, super hero.'

Extreme valentine enthusiast.

"Do you promise to love and comfort yourself, on good days and bad, for richer, for poorer, in weight gain and loss, as long as you shall live?"

'I'd invite you in, but I'm way too young to settle for less.'

"You want privacy, don't date my daughter!"

Competitions.

"Do you see this amazing comic book? Do you know this is the first appearance of Thor? Do you know how much this is worth? Do you know how much trouble you'll be in if you ever touch this?"

Propriety

"Congratulations. I just need your initials here."

'I've gone over the fight tapes and I think I've pinpointed your weakness.'

Spiderman's tummy rumbles on the subway

'I don't understand it. He's just as strong as ever.'

Miss Evans and the Eagle

"Can Lucy come out and date?"

"Listen, kid...I'm doing you a favor... Don't call here again for at least another 10 years."

One-Up-Manship Valentine's Day

'Look, love, playing hard to get clearly isn't working. How about playing easy to get instead.'

'The thing I liked best about being an amateur is that the other guy was an amateur too!'