Yogurt Appreciator T-Shirts

"Dear, will you sprint down to the store and get a box of wheat germ and a pint of yoghurt?"

Any time is cake o'clock

"You'll love this. It's swarthy yet munificent, didactic and gregarious with hints of dogma."

"Waiter, can you heat this up? The wild salmon got cold while I was posting it to Instagram."

The British Territory of the South Sandwich Islands.

Frank & Ernie's Diner. Today: Yogurt Surprise. We call it "yogurt surprise" because we couldn't read the expiration date on the carton.

"We'll start with the appetizer, move on to the entree, and then finish up with dessert."

'I don't do so much of the you-can't catch-me-I'm-the -gingerbread-man material these days...'

Victorian Fast Food - 'I'll have the lark pie festooned with eels, a full stilton, two bottles of port,,,'

How lazy people decide what to eat

Cheese Pile

Thermidor Dali

Mum! What's for dessert?! - 'Yoghurt!' - 'Vanilla?' - 'Peach Melba.' - 'Don't call childline, don't call childline, don't call childline, don't call childline.' - '' -

'That's the problem with living with an artist, the fruitbowl is always off...'

"I went with weirdness over quantity this year."

"I don't remember him or the meal or what movie we saw. All I remember is I wore the right jeans."

"Alas poor yoghurt - I knew it well..."

"You're good mum. But, Billy's mum is a better cook than you. She only knows how to make chocolate cake."

"If you order from our wellness menu, you get a side of yogurt with every dish."

Revenge is a dish best served cold.

"Would you care to see a YouTube of your chicken when it was free ranging?"

"I can see that you're a cultured individual..."

"What do you have that justifies its calories?"

Mum's Apple Pies With Acknowledgement to Dad

Plane Yogurt.

'Lady, you're steaming up my window!'

There's a sky full of bloated women counting on you to produce a pro-biotic yoghurt like you've never produced before!

'You have an impressive cellar.'

"I'm sorry, Mr. Burke isn't in right now. He ate some funky yogurt he found in the back of the fridge and he's in the bathroom - how shall I put this - promoting from within."

Corporate urban legends

"Let's see . . . I detect beef . . . peas . . . and a subtle hint of sweet potato!"

"Of course I'm polite, I'm cordial!"

It's true what they say: Life at the top can be lonely...

Low fat diets.

Who needs Facebook friends when you've got billions of friendly gut bacteria?