Yoga Enthusiast Gifts

"Oh, gosh! Yoga in twenty minutes."

"Of course, this neck stretch should be attempted only by advanced students."

Yoga feasibility studies.

'Pilates. Yoga. Maybe a new strain of tai chi. Whatever! We've got to end it before the entire herd is infected.'

Burned out doctor has a 'break glass in case of burnout' kit in her office.

"And may all your chakras be blocked!"

"I find the yoga helps me to be more irritating."

Yoga Emergency.

Having everyone do an hour of yoga in the office seemed like a good idea on paper.

'Shut up bitch, I'm trying to find my inner calm.'

"It turns out I've been inhaling when I should be exhaling and exhaling when I should be inhaling."

'I had to stop Yoga and Meditation: I was getting less and less aggressive...'

'Today we're going to learn how to take our foot out of our mouth.'

Don't laugh. It's added three points to his scores.

Don't laugh. Meat and milk production is up 50%.

'Hey there, it's Yoga Bear!'

"I was gonna try yoga, but I don't actually bend so that's not going to work."

'It's either this or a heart attack!'

'Please forgive the assumption, but you're new at yoga, aren't you?'

"Thanks to yoga, mom no long jumps to conclusions. She gently stretches."

Downward-facing dog vs upward-looking cat.

Patron entering 'School of Yoga' sees snowman standing on head.

Yoga through the Years

80% of donuts enrolled in yoga classes never return after the first session. 'The first step is finding your inner self.'

"I just found an Eastern philosophy that's very accepting of S.U.Vs."

"Why so downward facing, dog?"

'I'm really stressd. My therapist thinks it's caused by too much power yoga.'

"Let me touch them for you, son."

"Showoff"

'You should now feel relaxed and at one with your whole body.'

A yoga man in knots being stretchered to hospital

'Grandmas just ain't what they used to be.'

"Ok, now...find your center."

Don't Waste A Moment! Put Down That Magazine And Get Fit While You Sit!

"We get it. You're straight."