Yellow Card Enthusiast Pillows

"What a match...have you seen that crazy guy running across the field? He was irritating players and fans! I want to know why the scurity guards did not stop him!" "Becase he was the referee."

Kid at bus stop to kid: 'Needless to say, I cured my Mom of her home-schooling kick.'

"Still Undecided Political Blocs"

Bradley Wiggins

"Now that we're into spring, we want to warn you that spring fever can be contagious..."

Joey Barton's red card wins Premiership League for Manchester City.

'He's a yodelling busker!'(Busker on faraway mountain).

'What do you mean you're the new Paediatric Specialist?'

Elderly People

Chris Froome

"I may be an aged whiskey, but inside I still feel like a fresh ear of corn!"

Yo Yo Tricks.

Wally's dye job...makes his hair look 25 years younger.

Yin and Yang VPs.

Yo-Yo Sales

'Honey, it's your worms of the month delivery!'

"Mum, Mum, the choir master taught us to yodel today! I loved it, I want to practice every day..."

'We complete each other...'

'You have the body of a 22 year old man, providing your birthday is February 29th.'

'What do you mean, 'act my age'?... If I did that I'd be dead!'

Alpine Pipe

Tour de France champ Fausto Coppi

'Stop annoying the dog Andrew!'

'Son, you need to describe the boy who took your yo-yo to our Etch-A-Sketch artist.'

"Read this. It's a draft of a novel I'm writing fro the young adult market. I want to make sure there's absolutely nothing in it you can relate to."

Strange Aftertaste birthday cards.

'No kidding? I didn't realize 80 is the new 20!'

"Do you mind?"

Modern Football

"His last words were 'Yodel-ay-he-hoo.'"

"First you forget the flag! Now you tell me you don't know how to yodel!"

Tour de France champ Hendrik 'Joop' Zoetemelk

'Why can't you do a yodel that sounds like you're making money instead of cheese?'

'Hey man that's a gas!'

'While 10-15 years of cellaring are recommended and would certainly improve the bouquet and taste, no, there'sno reason why you can't go out back, behind the dumpster and down the whole thing in 1 chug.'