X-ray Aficionados Gifts

"It's definitely dislocated"

"Would you please step back to the machine while I make an adjustment?"

"Hurry, stop him!" (Dog running off with bone from man's x-ray).

"Congratulations. The ultrasound shows the baby is healthy, a boy and already knows more about technology than you."

'As you can see, it's a boy and he seems to be doing just fine.'

'What makes you think we have a radiation leak?'

'Good News. Further x-rays revealed the big shadow on your lung to your stomach.'

"Things look good but let's run a few more tests since mortality runs in your family."

"What is it Doc, I can handle it."

Orthopaedist

"Hmm, well, I wouldn't worry too much. This condition is very common in your profession."

"No wonder I'm getting feedback!"

"How the hell should I know what I'm looking at? You're lousy insurance doesn't provide HD X-rays."

'I don't like the looks of this - there's nothing wrong.'

I owe you an apology for not believing you have back pain.

Why dogs are not hired to do bone scans

"I don't like the looks of that Spot on your lung."

'Phwoar! Full frontal cortex.'

"Trust me I'm a Doctor."

'Good news! Your positives look negative.'

'It's so rare you'll need your own teleton.'

'Your X-Rays are here. . . beautiful high-resolution!'

So, what did my x-rays reveal, Doctor? Oddly enough, beneath your finished ink drawing, there was a rough sketch in blue pencil.

"You car pool guys will be going down together for x-rays."

'Billy, no! Midterms are tomorrow!'

'I don't want surgery...can you just touch up the x-rays?'

Alcoholic's X-Ray

"But the good news is I've found my watch!"

"Were the x-rays really necessary?"

"And then I said 'Don't worry, this is perfectly safe!' Ha, ha!"

'You're right - the dog did eat your homework.'

Tunnel of Anxiety

'I don't see the problem.'

'Gee!'

'Why couldn't you wear glasses like everyone else?'