Writing Whisperer T-Shirts

"Do you mind if I interrupt your train of thought with my stream of consciousness?"

"I'm in here, rereading the great poets, myself among them."

"The first rule of essay club is to never mention the word essay in the essay."

"In the first place, it isn't "maddening crowd.' It's 'madding crowd.' "

"Just be yourself."

Canned laughter for sale in Theatrical Supplies shop.

'You said the computer was coming between us. So I put your name as my password.'

"Tech-support has confirmed it. Screaming and hitting the computer won't solve the problem. You'll have to try something else."

Computer help.

Reading

"He's from IT. All I did was tell him I thought he was doing a great job... and he fainted in shock!"

"Now all we need is a good script."

Open Mike for the spotlight operators

"Can you spare a few megabytes of your precious time?"

"I think we could work very well together."

Duplass Brothers

'I've worked out that all you need for a summer blockbuster is...'

"This oughtta be good...my lawyer is about to read my Will. I left everything to my cat Binky!"

'I can't believe she left everything to that stupid parakeet!'

'I'm sorry, but it's suffering from a terminal disease.'

'...if he only knew what I wrote about him on my blog.'

"Hmmm?!"

Where baby grand pianos come from.

"It's a nice story, Mr. Fergus, but why do you always write in the passive voice?" "I suppose because I've been a taxpayer all my life."

"This is very mysterious. I can't seem to pick up anything at all about you, but I see 'Ivan the Terrible' coming to the Thalia."

Literary Type

Playing dead is easy, but when they ask me to speak, I have to imagine them in their underwear.

'Please stand by. You have temporarily lost your picture. Broadcasting will resume when you have finished your homework.'

At the school of ventriloquism.

Always stick to the script.

"Keep your shirt on. I'll read your book as soon as I'm done reading the monster his book."

"And to my brother, who I promised to mention in my will, 'Hi Grumpy'!"

Sad looking computer with plasters and a black eye

"How's the computer analysis going?"

Public speaking