Writing Poetry Gifts

Intellectual Foreplay...

Mother Goose's Haiku

Never write a sonnet on an empty stomach

Father Ted Hughes.

'Oh, I'm the captain of my soul, all right -- it's just that I'm married to a fleet admiral.'

Gas Leak!

"I can write beautiful poems, but they all rhyme with gin."

"How about one more for the road not taken?"

"Lassie, go get help!" "Oh Timmy you idiot! Not again!"

"1984 by George Orwell. Project 2025. Presidential transition project."

"In the first place, it isn't "maddening crowd.' It's 'madding crowd.' "

The Signing of tthe United States Constitution

"They say it takes 10,000 hours to perfect something- I guess I was a bit hasty throwing that together in 144."

"Bond James, Bond."

'I remember when you used to look for answers using your astute powers of deduction.'

'My penmanship has really improved since I got a laser printer.'

"That's the guy I hired to read Proust for me."

Copycats

I should be a writer when I grow up...

Bob encounters one of the bugs in the Jean Paul Sartre fan website.

"Too bad about old Ainsworth. Published and published, but perished all the same."

Blue Stockings - Woman revealing herself as author

"I built this tree house for my kids. But it's so private, I've decided to use it as my home office."

"After years of cartoon rejections, Bill stooped to trying a little shameless product placement."

'How fast can you hype?'

Ed Flanders, Deconstruction Worker

Squeezing the Free Press.

"No, I didn't steal your content. I just have your content's doppleganger."

The Ray Bradbury classic, 'The Car Alarm.'

"The menu just says fried fish, but may I give you a more compelling, surprisingly lyrical description?"

It soon became apparent that the vicar was an undercover journalist.

"I'm sorry, Your Majesty. It's always my intention to leave you laughing."

Campaign for Plain English

Library sections; Fiction, non-fiction and do-it-yourself.

'Darling I want you to remember this always,,,'