Writing Music Gifts

Ludwig Van Beethoven

The Work-from-Home-Polka

"Lassie, go get help!" "Oh Timmy you idiot! Not again!"

No, you idiots, they don't include a "comments" section.

Shepherd and eurydice

"This is a lovely old song that tells of a young woman who leaves her cottage, and goes off to work. She arrives at her destination, and places some solid NHHS in a flask containing 0.50 atm ofammonia, and attempts to determine the pressures of ammonia and hydrogen sulide when equilibrium is reached."

"1984 by George Orwell. Project 2025. Presidential transition project."

"In the first place, it isn't "maddening crowd.' It's 'madding crowd.' "

The Signing of tthe United States Constitution

"They say it takes 10,000 hours to perfect something- I guess I was a bit hasty throwing that together in 144."

"Bond James, Bond."

'I remember when you used to look for answers using your astute powers of deduction.'

'My penmanship has really improved since I got a laser printer.'

They hated me.

Mike (The Situation) is rumored to have written the original manuscript for his best-selling memoir entirely out of bronzer.

Louis Armstrong

"That's the guy I hired to read Proust for me."

Copycats

A Symphony of Penguins

I should be a writer when I grow up...

"I built this tree house for my kids. But it's so private, I've decided to use it as my home office."

"Too bad about old Ainsworth. Published and published, but perished all the same."

Bob encounters one of the bugs in the Jean Paul Sartre fan website.

Blue Stockings - Woman revealing herself as author

'How fast can you hype?'

'Houston, I'm prepared to land...'

"M'lady, we’ve reached peak Brooklyn."

"After years of cartoon rejections, Bill stooped to trying a little shameless product placement."

Hey, calm down --- Now, what did you say again?

Pete Townshend Vineyards

Ed Flanders, Deconstruction Worker

Squeezing the Free Press.

"Here's another one written in E minor and in case you haven't guessed by now, it's the only chord I know."

It soon became apparent that the vicar was an undercover journalist.

'Someone got me because I matched her purse, I've been to a rock concert, a night club and two weddings, Life as a designer dog is great but I'd trade caviar for kibble to get a good night's sleep,'