Writers' Groupie Gifts

Meet the reader. I loved the way you read my first two books!

Campaign for Plain English

1847 - Bram Stoker, creator of Dracula was born in Dublin.

"Oh, mournful and terrible engine of horror and crime—of agony and of death, not asparagus again!"

Theatre Crowd

Euripides: 'If we could be twice young and twice old, we could correct all our mistakes.'

Arthur Schopenhauer

Henrik Ibsen,

The Quack Quack Diaries: Quack Quack's Poetic Justice

Litterary Dogs.

We have a problem with your research. We're Encyclopedia Britannica and you're Wikipedia.

Learn to Be a Critic In The Privacy Of Your Own Home With The Apex Correspondence School Of Criticism!

''Rumplestiltskin' sounds like an ALIAS to me!'

"We live in interesting times. Present company exempted, of course."

EXTROVERTS ANONYMOUS

Robert Schumann

Woody Allen

"It says here an increasing number of Brits blog and tweet in Afrikaans. Why?"

Don't You Dare Stand in the Way of Me Standing in My Own Way

Weapens of Mass Instruction

"Morning, sir. We've received reports that you've been wielding an inappropriate attitude without a permit."

Shakespeare's Earliest Influences. To bean or not to bean ….. Ye Olde Limas. Jolly Goode Cukes. The Bees Peas.

'Noah, before you leave we'd like to have a word with you!'

Museum of Natural Cliches

Stephen King

"If they shorten political campaigns, what will we do for entertainment?"

Trilby - 'Oh don't you remember sweet Alice, Ben Bolt?'

'We've had an application from No.10 Downing Street. . . they need to extend their cabinet room.'

Dylan Thomas

Charles Darwin Visits a Publisher. "Past performance is not a Guarantee of Future Results" --- It's a nice book, Mister Darwin, but the title is too long.

Frank and Ernie's Classic Cars. '40s - '50s - '60s. Hi! Do you have any cars with fins in the back? Sorry, sir, nothing with Fins in the back -- but there are a couple with Norwegians in the trunk!

"It's by A.I. Milne."

Never use a cookbook written by a mystery book author. You never know how things will turn out!

"He spends hours waiting for his muse to strike..."

The Gweat Twain Wobbery.