Wrinkle Cream Fan Pillows

Shar-Pei sees wrinkle cream.

"I always forget what an expert I am in curling."

Curling your hair for no reason

'Can I have a Banana-Split' without the ice-cream?'

"Well, what number sunscreen are you using?"

'No fair. Someone ate the popsicle off the stick.'

"If she's a write off can you let me know the scrap value?"

Tortoise polishing his shell

"Will you still love me when I'm old and crinkled?"

Sunblock

Curling Rocks!

People who understand Venn diagrams

Tutti: When all voices sing at the same time.

"Why so sad, Pal?"

"I guess I shouldn't have asked for the cherries jubilee to go!"

"...Tomorrow's weather....abominable!"

Christmas Presents for the Cat

'It's about the 'air conditioning - Two weeks I've 'ad the car and I've still got split ends!'

Lather, Rinse, Repeat.

'The ref likes a good clean fight!'

"If we just hold our nerve, poorly-lit homes filled with clutter will become 'a thing'."

'I am on a holiday from hell.'

"And she's had her tentacles waxed."

'Jungle hair.'

US congress unpopularity.

"You imbecile! I asked for a bigger 'pout'."

Curling popularity after the winter Olympics.

'We're gonna kill 'em with obesity.'

Olympic curling

"I'll just have the stick, thanks."

"My hair is taking too long to grow so let's shorten my face."