Wound Warrior Pillows

"If you don't want stitches, that's fine. Suture self."

"I bit my tongue...but the bandages won't stick!"

Dear Santa, please can I have a powerful herbicide for Christmas. Best wishes, Adam.

Baby on board.

"Good news...I found a doctor who says you can still play!"

He has his own peculiar problems whether casting from the beach or from a boat.

'First weeds of spring.'

"Al emerged from his man cave and saw crabgrass. That means 6 months of obsessing about crabgrass."

"If you miss a payment, we show up and embarrass you in front of your friends."

Getting Rid of the Cure

"I can't stop licking my boo-boo."

'It's a beautiful lighthouse. However, hauling the batteries up the stairs has taken its toll on my back.'

"Don't get me wrong. I think it's great that Barbara decided she wanted to start exercising more after her surgery."

'No surf?'

Due To High Winds Crawling Is Banned Today

"Hurry up Dad, I need the loo!"

Big slipper.

Burn out

When collective bargaining is outlawed!: 'To work here, you have to wear this metal collar!'

'Grief counselling'

'Whenever he stares out the window like that I know he's about to go into a gardening frenzy.'

Ready for the curves life throws at you.

Polio - The Comeback Kid

Senior citizen surfing.

'I've got an appointment with Mr. Payne.' - 'He'll see you now.' - 'Okay, take a deep br-' - 'Gah!' - 'Great, now turn ov-' - 'Argh!' - 'And a final tw-' - 'Mummy!' - '*Sob*' - 'Okay, all done.' - 'Did you, by any chance...' - '...hear you crying...'

'I've battened down the TV to protect us from weather reports.'

"I got knocked down while jogging in heavy traffic."

'He's so proud - We've got the best collection of weeds in the street!'

"First day out of bed?"

"You, my tenacious weed, are trespassing!"

Feelings towards radios #2 Picket signs with pictures of radios on them

"Say, Bill, how's that new crop of yours doing?"

"Surf's up."

'Before I quit I couldn't even spell rehabilitation.'

'...Then touch your toes twenty times.'