Bandage Warrior Pillows

'Good news. We've decided to give you the game ball.'

'Honey, I wish you wouldn't bring your work home with you!'

"If you don't want stitches, that's fine. Suture self."

'I'd like a second opinion, doctor.'

'We're out of water, Jack. Time to go back up the hill to fetch a pail.'

World Cup Fever

"I'd delighted your son wants to be a surgeon.. but that no reason to let let him practice on you."

'She's one of our nurses hiding from the patient load.'

'No.... My cat doesn't like being given pills either...'

"274 meters of bandage - It looks as though you're going to make the Guiness Book of Records, Mr Henderson!"

"No, I wasn't in a car accident. As a new parent, I'm still trying not to trip on all the toys on the floor."

"Yes, you did close some of your tabs. However, you still have 1,894 open. You're a tab hoarder."

'Admit it,you've been bothering the nurses again,haven't you?

Medical Supplies

'I'm afraid the bed shortage is rather acute...'

"If you need anything just wink."

"Stop moaning. I said I'm sorry."

'Well, at least we were able to remove that pesky hangnail. So, you have to be pretty stoked about that."

'Talking to John always raises my self esteem. He's such a great listener!'

'Any reason why I can't keep him in that cast?'

First aid: A wizard has a bandage on his finger with turban on it.

'We may as well make use of you.'

"Are you in there, Mr Elkins?"

"I bit my tongue...but the bandages won't stick!"

Minor Surgery

'You can see the Doctor now. Don't ask him anything too medical.'

"Harry... Looking good buddy!"

It's from your private medical insurance.

'Keep your eye on the screen, and if anything unexpected happens, push the button!'

Carbon Dating Agency

"There's no response. Are you sure he's in there?"

'Never, Ever...assume anything is free when you visit a hospital.'

"You are so lucky. You are not going to classes for the next six months."

'I don't suppose it occured to you to simply agree to disagree?'

'I think that we can safely assume Mr Jones is on the mend, Matron.'