Bandage Warrior Mugs

'Good news. We've decided to give you the game ball.'

'Honey, I wish you wouldn't bring your work home with you!'

"If you don't want stitches, that's fine. Suture self."

'I'd like a second opinion, doctor.'

"I'd delighted your son wants to be a surgeon.. but that no reason to let let him practice on you."

'She's one of our nurses hiding from the patient load.'

'No.... My cat doesn't like being given pills either...'

"274 meters of bandage - It looks as though you're going to make the Guiness Book of Records, Mr Henderson!"

"No, I wasn't in a car accident. As a new parent, I'm still trying not to trip on all the toys on the floor."

'Admit it,you've been bothering the nurses again,haven't you?

"Yes, you did close some of your tabs. However, you still have 1,894 open. You're a tab hoarder."

Medical Supplies

"If you need anything just wink."

'I'm afraid the bed shortage is rather acute...'

'Any reason why I can't keep him in that cast?'

'Talking to John always raises my self esteem. He's such a great listener!'

First aid: A wizard has a bandage on his finger with turban on it.

"Stop moaning. I said I'm sorry."

'Well, at least we were able to remove that pesky hangnail. So, you have to be pretty stoked about that."

"I bit my tongue...but the bandages won't stick!"

'We may as well make use of you.'

"Are you in there, Mr Elkins?"

Minor Surgery

'You can see the Doctor now. Don't ask him anything too medical.'

"Harry... Looking good buddy!"

It's from your private medical insurance.

'Keep your eye on the screen, and if anything unexpected happens, push the button!'

'Never, Ever...assume anything is free when you visit a hospital.'

Carbon Dating Agency

"You are so lucky. You are not going to classes for the next six months."

"There's no response. Are you sure he's in there?"

'I don't suppose it occured to you to simply agree to disagree?'

'I think that we can safely assume Mr Jones is on the mend, Matron.'

'Well, a quick yank didn't work, either. Let's get you some lower tack bandages.'