Wound Care Warrior Gifts

"I can't stop licking my boo-boo."

"What did you say about the health of my gut biome?"

"Okay, now breathe another sigh of relief."

Self help acupuncture

Dietician to man: 'To address your spare tire we must first get in touch with your inner tube.'

"If you don't want stitches, that's fine. Suture self."

"Our war is against cancer."

'Well, well, well...'

"Your contents have shifted."

Be Healthy

Express Barber Chair for Chemo Patients

"Your bad cholesterol is trying to persuade your good cholesterol to switch sides."

The Cougher

"Another one so relaxed, she couldn't walk out of here."

Kid with 'Little Wellness Facilitator' kit

Hot Pie Therapy

"Good news...I found a doctor who says you can still play!"

"Breathe in and reimagine yourself in a world where you lived a healthy lifestyle."

"Nice try, Jim, but there's no such thing as a 'Beer cleanse'."

Treat Dispensers for the Middle-Aged

FIGHT STRESS: Walk-A-Thon

"I told him he should have trained more."

Shrinks in heaven

"You're in perfect health and look half your age – I'm prescribing something to help you shut up about it."

'Miss Raleigh. I'm studying megatrends. Bring me some megavitamins.'

Making healthy substitutions at mealtime

'What are you eating now?'

'C'mon, c'mon! I want to be the first one on the stair-climbing machine!'

"Would you like me to give it to you straight or sugar-coated?"

Burnout Syndrome...

'You've still got the right stuff, only now it's in the wrong places.'

Healthy living has added years to Melvin's life.

Traditional vs alternative medicine.

'Mom, do I have to hold my plank through desert, too?'

'According to these latest tests, anything can cause anything.'