World Worry Warrior Gifts

Patient bringing the worries of the world along with him.

Nervous Oral Testing

Mental Wellness Center. Some folks coming here are working on multiple issues. Earlier, I saw a germaphobe with a fear of flying. Using an airplane bathroom must be completely out of the question! There's a narcissist with math anxiety and a fear of public speaking. He hopes one day he can stand in front of a large audience and count all the wonderful qualities he believes he has. And that guy has claustrophobia combined with a fear of success. Looks like he's going through a rough period

That party went well.

"Honey, can you read through our list and let me know if I forgot anything?"

A Hypochondriac's Worst Nightmare

Introducing Ambient Books: No beginning...no middle...no end...just a bunch of sentences specially written to soothe and relax the reader.

"Now that's a great number if you want to be protected from the entire environment."

The Secret Sauce of American Exceptionalism

"Returning to standard time is always difficult. I gain an hour of worrying."

"Do you cover hypochondria?"

'I can't sleep for thinking about global warming.'

"I made a list of all my symptoms. Lost the list. Can't remember any of my symptoms now."

'Life isn't fair! Most of the stuff I worried about over the years never even happened!'

Woman in bed with catalogue of worries.

Mrs. Tree? A hockey ball hit your daughter. It's likely just a bad bruise. Whew! Though there could be a fracture, nerve damage or fatal blood clots. What? Don't worry. Our medical advisor is evaluating Twig right now. Can you sign this liability waiver? Her hand seems fine. Team lawyer.

U.S. Farm Production: Cup Runneth Over.

Doctors often have to reassure the worried well.

"It used to be that if you worried about unseen forces you were considered paranoid. Now you're a security expert."

"But why not be happy about all the diseases you don't have?"

"Australia's covid vaccine roll out has experienced significant delivery coordination difficulties since its launch...why would that be."

"Well, nothing shows up on the tests. Your headaches are probably just stress related."

"My problem is I obsess over whether I worry enough."

'Today could well be the day...the day on which the world leaders turn to me to solve their problems...they might just leave it till tomorrow.'

'Aunt Joan and Uncle Wally took Luci to the emergency room.'

Concern Chart

'I'm worried about not being worried...'

'You worry too much. Next time something goes wrong, try blaming someone else.'

Horses are nervous animals. . .

"Do you have to write down all the things you need to worry about?"

"Brenda's always been a bit of a worrier."

"Did we turn off the stove?"

I didn't experience any of the side effects listed in the enclosed literature. Should I be concerned?'

'Nothing to be alarmed about Mrs.Harvey, kids do this sort of things all the time. I'm sure whatever your Jimmy's gotten lodged up there, we can get it out.'

'I don't hate Mondays -- I FEAR Mondays!'