World Tour Planning Gifts

"Heads-up, the tourists are coming."

The fate of the emigrant

'The ghost walks this passage every night Monday to Friday. He has weekends off.'

World Tour.

Welcome To New York City...Subject to the following conditions.

Walking Luggage.

"Do you remember, Peg—are we on our way out or on our way back?"

Excess Baggage: Fans of 'Deregulation' and the 'Free Market' probably have not had to buy a plane ticket recently.

"Cancel the trip. The cook didn't get a visa."

'Oh, rustic used to mean 'no indoor plumbing', but now it means, 'No computers'!'

Italia tours

"I just..."

'At this time, we would like to call those passengers who feel compelled to board before their row numbers are announced.'

"For the last time, we never need the route with the fewest turns."

A couple looks at posters of Rio, Paris and Tokyo, all of which feature skyscrapers.

Western Outfitters.

"We were thinking about the Himalayas this summer. On the other hand, there's something very special about Montauk."

"I've got a better view on my smart phone."

The Airport.

"This trip, we'd like to go everywhere our luggage goes."

'The yeast cells are flocculating? - I don't think the kids are ready for that.'

'I don't need to be fluent in French. I'm fluent in money.'

'We leave for France tomorrow. I just can't wait to visit all those famous museum gift shops!'

'Round-the-world ticket please!' - 'One way?'

"Can you folks handle firearms?"

"Where should we fly to for our next vacation?"

Excess Baggage: Many hotels, inspired by the airlines are gouging their guests by adding 'resort fees' to the room rates.

Bath Abbey

Desert Island Statues wearing bucket hats.

Travellers

"Are we going with scary clown? Or just plain old spooky?"

Humpty Dumpty Travel Agency.

'Any bargains going South?' (Bird asks travel agent).

Travel Scenes

'Great! Now, will that be clockwise or counterclockwise?'