World Cup Worrier Gifts

"It's coming home but not to our home."

The benefits of having a translator in the surgery

"England losing from a penalty shootout again!"

'Now that's the Group of Death.'

'Fancy a game of five-a-side, boys?'

Even good cholesterol can develop an unhealthy sports addiction...

'At least now the injury worries are over, we can concentrate on slagging off the team.'

'I hate bloody football! It's just a bunch of over-rated, overpaid nancy boys kicking a b-' - 'Genuine football fans may leave work early to avoid missing the start of important World Cup fixtures.' - 'C'mon England!'

So far the coaching exchange program was hitting a few snags.

Captive Audience at the World Cup.

"Tragic case of having the fridge from the TV when the World Cup is showing."

Supermarket - World Cup Specials

A woman watches football on her computer.

Gym. It doesn't help when you call the ab workout a "journey to the center of the girth."

Who are the most important people at the World Cup?

"Things look good but let's run a few more tests since mortality runs in your family."

Light RELIEF for England . . . PHEW!

"I made a list of all my symptoms. Lost the list. Can't remember any of my symptoms now."

The Rugby Throw Up.

'...And my thirty-seventh symptom....'

"What time is it?" "Half past World Cup."

"After they've had hell beaten out of them they'll enjoy playing in Heaven."

"So, after five glorious weeks, football is coming home!"

Footballer changes shirt with the ref.

Football Planet

Red Card - Gold Card.

World Cup Fan.

"He's in training for the World Cup."

'Delusions are a common symptom of World Cup fever.'

"Vuuuuuuuuuuu!"

'Going 'cold turkey' might be dangerous...I'd wean him off by letting him watch world cup re-runs....'

'I'm dreading the World Cup . . .'

'Don't worry about the condition of the pitch, I've got my best goat working on it.'

'I'm convinced I've got page 68 of my medical dictionary, doctor!'

"As a confirmed hypochondriac, I rely on placebos to get me through the day."