World Cup Aficionado Gifts

Kapil Dev

"Portrait of a Lady"

Oscar would laugh whenever he recalled his empty existence before golf.

"Do you do temporary ones that last about two weeks?"

"Good game, good game, nice game, namaste, good game, nice game ..."

'Did you want to bring on a sub'

'Now that's the Group of Death.'

Raheem Sterling

'Yes, Jenny, I know I'm always reminding the team to be good sports, but you really don't have to thank the ref after every call.'

'Fancy a game of five-a-side, boys?'

United Football Club: In, Out, VAR.

Mohamed Salah

'When I'm not thinking about me, the Giants, the Knicks or the Yankees, I'm thinking about us.'

'He's got classic form, but if he doesn't improve his grades he won't get into college. He doesn't think.'

Captive Audience at the World Cup.

"And now, since our local teams really stink, here are scores for actual good teams around the country that you might want to root for."

'You haven't heard the best thing. . .no referees.'

'When I was a kid, we had to do our own instant replays.'

Joey Barton's red card wins Premiership League for Manchester City.

'He's missed six goals today. I bet he could kick himself.'

"Awfully quiet... Must be a big game on!"

The Harper Plays Cricket.

Cristiano Ronaldo

Playing football with snowmen in goal.

'It took some doing, but we got your name on!'

"The health of Mr. Putin is very good!"

'He ordered those 'natural male enhancements',and now he watches football all the time!'

Fox hunting.

'Yo, Corona! Pack your stuff! You've been traded.'

Thibaut Nicolas Marc Courtois

Football.

"Depressed, anxious, worried about the future we've had a great deal of this recently...I'd suggest you avoid watching England for a while."

"Yes, it's a sports related injury. He dropped his bowling ball."

Snowman Football Fan.

"I need to buy a faster fastball."