World Cup Junkie Gifts

'We have to convince the media that we aren't corrupt.'

World Cup Football Enthusiasm!

"Do you do temporary ones that last about two weeks?"

Even good cholesterol can develop an unhealthy sports addiction...

'Now that's the Group of Death.'

Russia Money Laundering

Captive Audience at the World Cup.

Terrorism leaves Iraq and moves on to new places.

"This is his fifteenth successive Olympics."

"To join OPEC you must be a country and filthy rich in oil."

Donald Trump and Kim Jong-un Summit

'With the kind cooperation of the underworld, we present live, for the first time on TV, an actual holdup.'

Yanis Varoufakis and Wolfgang Schauble

Dictators Consuming the World

"What time is it?" "Half past World Cup."

President Putin.

Obtaining a degree in TV Broadcasting.

'Delusions are a common symptom of World Cup fever.'

'Going 'cold turkey' might be dangerous...I'd wean him off by letting him watch world cup re-runs....'

Russia's Ukrainian Ambitions.

'You don't know how much it would mean to me if you could just jump.'

"So, after five glorious weeks, football is coming home!"

'You're going to stitch me up in this interview aren't you?'

"I just realized that unless I'm riding for some cause, I must look like an idiot."

' I think now would be a good time to adjourn for lunch.'

...Another second closer to kick-off....another second..

"You won't find Miss Miriam Hirschman an easy nut to crack, Mr. Leno."

Sergio Aguero

"So if you don't want to know the World Cup results look away now until July 16th."

Bernard Derome: If the trend continues...I'll be retiring in 2009.

"Dad, how do you become a TV reporter?"

Daniella Diaz - CNN

"I thought they decided who was the best team last year?"

'I'm just putting the final touches to my world cup preparations...'

World Cup - Countdown