World Champion Wannabe T-Shirts

Frank Bruno

"Just another 50 decibels on your grunt and we can start to think about letting you hit a few balls!"

A tortoise running along the side of the road, panting.

'I've got a cape. I think I can make it.'

'Hey guys?. . . Help us think what Dale could do for his '15 minutes of fame.''

Inaction Figure

"Sarge, he says he wants to make a 'fashion statement'!"

'Hi....I'm on my driving test....'

"Sure we'll get in trouble, but our science grades will make up for it."

"Shouldn't you boys be out fighting crime somewhere?" "Yeah, yeah, whatever." "I could use another beer while you're up." "I ain't goin' on no airplane!" "Anyone pay the cable bill?" The A-Hole Team

'... And as soon as I get out of here, I'm going back to that karate school to demand a full refund!'

'...And to faithfully execute the duties of Emperor of the United States of Newt...'

"I promised myself I would never let this happen to me."

"Don't get too excited. Getting a filling does not make you a cyborg."

Maps to the Hovels of Would Be Stars.

Competitions.

'I've gone over the fight tapes and I think I've pinpointed your weakness.'

'Forgive the interruption, but can the surgeon wait until after he operates on me to play his chess.'

"He used to want to take over the world."

"Central America, the Balkans... such small countries... no reason we can't buy at least one of them."

"You're too late, again Procrastination Man."

"Kid, you're going to have to make a choice."

Speed Checked by Radar.

'I could rule the world if it wasn't for my inferiority complex.'

I'm only a part time waiter, I'm really an actor...You may have seen me at the movies. Maybe, where do you sit?

"I shot 60 and you say that isn't bad, but I aim to do even better on the second hole!"

'What do you mean... You sent the rest of the uniform to the dry cleaners?'

'The thing I liked best about being an amateur is that the other guy was an amateur too!'

"There's no increase in salary, but the position does come with a cape."