Workplace Safety Pillows

Health and safety nightmare.

Accident Free Days 14?3.

Boss at board meeting looks at colleague wearing helmet, headphones and strapped-on pillows, saying: 'I think, perhaps, we need to come up with a new approach to risk management.'

"I'm going to need a little more for the root cause than, who'da thunk."

'Now we're going to stay here until we reach our safety goal!'

Worker: 'QUICK, does anybody here know First Aid?!' / Worker: 'Yeah, him.'

'Anyone that needs further proof can see Carl after the meeting.'

Maybe next tiime you'll hand in the risk assessment on time

Office Ergonomics.

Man driving forklift is distracted by a pretty co-worker and accidentally runs into another colleague.

'It's okay, I'm wearing safety contact lenses.'

A man is balancing on two chairs to hang a 'safety first' sign.

'You're right; there's a frozen pea on the floor. I'll cordon off the area, sound the store alarm and call in the disposal experts.'

'OK, what's the first thing we need to capture in our Job Safety Analysis?' 'Don't tick off TINY!'

Worker: 'QUICK, does anybody here know CPR?!' / Worker: 'Yeah, him.'

Safety last.

'Have I got this poster straight?'

'No, no, I've gone through all the steps in the procedure and I don't see anything about totally immersing yourself in oil before starting the job!!

'I'm getting some unusually high readings around you.'

'You know what's boring? Writing out lengthy 'near-miss' accident reports.'

'When did you last restock the first aid cabinet Miss Tompkins?'

How Are My Safe Work Habits? Call 1-800-555-safe.

Health & Safety - Getting the Risk Assessment Forms.

'I'm concerned gentlemen. Very concerned!'

'Larry, did you replace the cartridges in all the respirators this morning?'

If you READ the guidelines you'd see that all you they ACTUALLY recommend is a pair of rubber gloves!

"How much clearer can it be, Fred? On page forty-one of the employee handbook, in black and white, it says: 'Never run with scissors!'"

Work Safety - Chemicals.

'That should help employees remember the safety rules!'

'Number of days since last accident' a man is falling off of ladder while trying to post numbers...

'Here are the safety manuals you wanted'

Safety Guide.

'Dave, I dropped my lunch box. Could you please look for it? Dave ... '

"Very comprehensive Roger, but I think it might be a bit over zealous for preventing paper cuts!"

"Maybe next time you could think about reporting the risk before the accident!"