Workplace Safety Professional Pillows

"All I said was that for health and safety reasons they'd have to leave their phones switched off!"

"I'm going to need a little more for the root cause than, who'da thunk."

Man sees sign as he exits bathroom: 'Employees Often Wash Hands'.

"Jimmy, I want you to meet our new safety officer."

'You're right. Our old safety files have become a safety concern.'

"It's not the first time he'd been warned about wearing a long tie when leaning over the shredder."

"I suppose you want the rest of the day off!"

"We need a union!'

Time Out For Teddy

The Dangers of National Safety Week.

'Yeah, I slipped on a banana skin too...'

'I'm getting some unusually high readings around you.'

'He refused to climb the ladder without a safety net.'

'Gentlemen, I'd like to introduce you to our new 'health and safety' officer.'

No Smoking.

Labor Day '19

'Here are the safety manuals you wanted'

'My horoscope says I'm due for a surprise today.'

A case of runaway forklift Doctor. Do we offer him any compensation?

"The following is a test of the fire-alarm system. It is only a test. Please ignore the intense heat and combustion."

First Aid Box

"Nice job with the petunias, Skip. They're a perfect complement to the trip wires."

"I can't believe it! In all my years in corporate business, yours must be the worst case of paper cuts I have ever seen."

'Mr Bluebeard is our safety officer.'

"I was running through the hallways and forgot to watch out for the low-hanging fruit."

"Bob put a chair with wheels on the table and climbed up to change a light bulb. Then the chair rolled away, Bob fell and... well, I guess we need a new industrial safety specialist."

Rule one: Never work without a net. Rule two: Specify the type of net.

Maybe next tiime you'll hand in the risk assessment on time

'OK, what's the first thing we need to capture in our Job Safety Analysis?' 'Don't tick off TINY!'

Work Safety - Chemicals.

Office Safety.

'I don't like being a crash dummy either but there are some jobs humans won't do.'

"...And now step 2 disconnect power before plugging in..."