Workplace Safety Consultant Pillows

'The industrial safety inspector? Are you kidding me?? He's there, right behind me!'

'And I think maybe you should wear oven gloves for the cold produce.'

Safety First

'This job is for a 30 hour week. . .but to achieve that you need to work 60 hours a week.'

"I'm going to need a little more for the root cause than, who'da thunk."

Man sees sign as he exits bathroom: 'Employees Often Wash Hands'.

"Jimmy, I want you to meet our new safety officer."

'You're right. Our old safety files have become a safety concern.'

"It's not the first time he'd been warned about wearing a long tie when leaning over the shredder."

"I suppose you want the rest of the day off!"

"We need a union!'

Time Out For Teddy

The Dangers of National Safety Week.

'Yeah, I slipped on a banana skin too...'

Standardisation: "I don't understand...it fitted us OK!"

'I'm getting some unusually high readings around you.'

'He refused to climb the ladder without a safety net.'

'Gentlemen, I'd like to introduce you to our new 'health and safety' officer.'

Wear a helmet

Labor Day '19

No Smoking.

'Here are the safety manuals you wanted'

'My horoscope says I'm due for a surprise today.'

A case of runaway forklift Doctor. Do we offer him any compensation?

First Aid Box

Bureau of Missing Persons, "He works flextime and we have direct deposit, so it took me a few months to notice he was gone."

"Bob put a chair with wheels on the table and climbed up to change a light bulb. Then the chair rolled away, Bob fell and... well, I guess we need a new industrial safety specialist."

"I can't believe it! In all my years in corporate business, yours must be the worst case of paper cuts I have ever seen."

'Mr Bluebeard is our safety officer.'

'Of course, at first, there was some resentment but now the chaps seem to have accepted things graciously.'

"I was running through the hallways and forgot to watch out for the low-hanging fruit."

Maybe next tiime you'll hand in the risk assessment on time

'OK, what's the first thing we need to capture in our Job Safety Analysis?' 'Don't tick off TINY!'

Work Safety - Chemicals.

"The good news is that your husband will never again ignore the company's safety instructions..."