Health And Safety Consultant Pillows

Man putting up accident prevention sign falls off ladder.

"The health and safety people are worried about 'stress' and 'work life balance'. Have some ideas on my desk first thing Monday!"

"I think you must have missed a page!"

The Dangers of National Safety Week.

"What happened to your head?"

Work Accidents

"All cartoons must now conform to Health and Safety regulations. . ."

Be Healthy

Man using to much bug spray

Executive ignores wet floor warning and slides down hall

"Jimmy, I want you to meet our new safety officer."

Bench Press Accident

Moses holds up new federal regulation guidelines.

'It's okay, there's a trampoline under the snow.'

Cafe Burns.

"We don't offer a health-care plan. Instead, we have Lou persuade you not to get sick."

Daddy showed me why I should always wear my bicycle helmet!

"Our medical benefits are quite limited, basically we send you a memo telling you to take more exercise."

Get back in that locker room! Go on - scat! ... Anyone else forget to wash his hands?'

"What do you have that won't kill me?"

Safety Barriers

'Yeah, the job's got great benefits, but mainly I like the safe work environment.'

'In my day, we didn't concern ourselves with wimpy notions of workplace ergonomics.'

"We need warning stickers on this side warning not to ignore all the other warning stickers on the other side."

'We'll see significant savings in health care costs with our new in-house operations.'

'I followed you advice for losing weight....i got naked and stood in front of a mirror...they threw me out of the restaurant.'

Wear a helmet

'Beef Counselor - mad cow, foot and mouth, diet, nutrition, ethics'

"You're right. I have to come up with a brake of some kind."

Worker Rights and the Smoking Ban

"What I'm prescribing is so cutting edge, even I can't pronounce it."

"And once we wipe out the disease, where does that leave us?"

"He says: If they're smart enough to hire a top lawyer and sue us for having wet floors then they're smart enough to look where they're *%&$* going..."

'Would you like me to wipe the cup with my finger or would you prefer Rover here licking it clean?'

'This is your lucky day!'