Workplace Safeguard Pillows

'For a moment there I thought I wasn't going to find any unsafe conditions at this job site.'

"Another week another dollar, Jenkins"

"The good news is you’re the only one we’re not firing ... the bad news is you’re the only one to run the department."

'And remember to emphasize we're giving them the opportunity to find a better job.'

"Sorry, we've found an app that's better at being you than you!"

37 years in the same position.

"I'm going to need a little more for the root cause than, who'da thunk."

Man sees sign as he exits bathroom: 'Employees Often Wash Hands'.

'What's wrong now?'

'Germaine, what did you do with my desk?'

'It's a lateral move, you'll now be getting all of Kramer's work too.'

"I was hoping there'd be no meetings here."

"Lost my job. But I'm pretty sure it's around here somewhere."

"Hiring someone to replace me and then expecting me to train him just doesn't sit well with me."

"It's not the first time he'd been warned about wearing a long tie when leaning over the shredder."

'Yes, can I help you?'

"Jimmy, I want you to meet our new safety officer."

'You'll get five paid sick days, plus an additional two when you're shedding your skin.'

'You're right. Our old safety files have become a safety concern.'

'Bit of a staffing problem, Boss. We haven't got any left.'

"The boss likes people with strong convictions. You're hired."

"Wake up Thomas, it's not 2020. There's no Zoom camera to turn off to hide yourself."

"You're hired. Now, I'll show you your desk, the break room, and the dented wall you're allowed to beat your head against."

'Frankly, our dental plan bites.'

"He was orphaned at an early age and raised by two giant moths."

"Good morning Rudy. I suppose you're wondering why I've summond you....It's time for your annual performance review...."

"We need a union!'

"I suppose you want the rest of the day off!"

"Yes, social media's a great way to express your opinions - shame you feel 'ignored and unappreciated by an aloof, faceless boss' - but that's because I haven't a clue who you are or what you do around here!"

Torn-Off Mouse.

'Once, long ago, I thought I was wrong...but it turned out I was mistaken.'

'Sorry, I can't give you a raise. However, I can offer you a splendid opportunity to share the profits.'

"First the good news - one of us hasn't been made redundant."