Worker Protection Pillows

'The boss said we didn't need a union- he'd take care of us...'

"I'm going to need a little more for the root cause than, who'da thunk."

Low-Energy Drinks

Man sees sign as he exits bathroom: 'Employees Often Wash Hands'.

Tick-tock, tick-tock, tick-tock, tick-tick, tock-tock, tickety-tick tock ….

'I had no idea aspirin came in such a large bottle.'

"Jimmy, I want you to meet our new safety officer."

'Stop saying 'how high?' until I say 'jump'.'

"It's not the first time he'd been warned about wearing a long tie when leaning over the shredder."

'You're right. Our old safety files have become a safety concern.'

"I'm too busy to be stressed."

"I think I'll have the businessman's lunch."

"We need a union!'

'I'd give you a raise, but I had to throw tantrums to make my parents give me anything as a kid.'

"I suppose you want the rest of the day off!"

'Once, long ago, I thought I was wrong...but it turned out I was mistaken.'

'Call me in the morning. In the afternoon, I'm out in the field.'

"I'm giving you a 300% salary increase, and four months paid leave."

"You'll do everything...accounting, marketing, manufacturing...with no pay or benefits...and three years from now we'll trade you in for a newer, sexier model."

Off Duty.

'I'm looking for a workaholic who feels the great job he does is compensation enough.'

Now may not be a good time,he just found out he's not going to live forever.

Time Out For Teddy

"The bad news is we've fired 80% of your office. The good news is we're fixing the coffee machine."

Around here it got a little tricky...

"What's this I hear about you not having an ulcer?"

'Kudos to Bill for the cotton candy machine idea!'

'Enough is enough. We're sick of being overworked and underpaid.'

'Jones, I don't like you because it's so hard to find something to blame you for!'

'Yeah, I slipped on a banana skin too...'

"The boss expects us all to be robots."

"Come to think of it, I can't think of the last time I saw a monarch around here."

The Dangers of National Safety Week.

"It's tragic to seek how quickly the enthusiasm of youth drains away..."

Busy day at the office.