Workplace Safety Advocate Gifts

"Don't tell me how to work safely! I've been at this job for five years!"

'. . . Press 1 to book an appointment. . . press 2 for a doctor. . . press 3 for an ambulance. . .'

'My horoscope says I'm due for a surprise today.'

A case of runaway forklift Doctor. Do we offer him any compensation?

"...And now step 2 disconnect power before plugging in..."

First Aid Box

Policeman with bleeding finger says: 'It's not fair. I got a desk job after being injured ... and now I've got a paper cut.'

'It's an old work injury.'

Brain in gear first!...

"It's not the first time he'd been warned about wearing a long tie when leaning over the shredder."

"And WHATEVER you do DON'T FALL DOWN THE STEPS or put your finger in the ELECTRICITY socket."

"How 'harmless' is our industrial accident really, boss? I just see thousands of rats running off the company premises."

Clyde thought “Atomic Sparklers” was just an ad gimmick

Pool attached to child's bed.

"I'm going to need a little more for the root cause than, who'da thunk."

Man using to much bug spray

'I guess my brain just started to really care about itself.'

"Did you bring any protection with you?"

"Getting the hang of it?"

"Have you met my bodyguard?"

Reasonableman

"Careful."

'Mum...Dad's barbecued his face again.'

Cafe Burns.

Squash Courts - "Insurance anyone"

TV chef sets the TV on fire.

The Dangers of Not Getting Enough Sleep...

"I told him not to rely on his GPS whe out running!"

'In my day, we didn't concern ourselves with wimpy notions of workplace ergonomics.'

'Okay, the motorized rocking chair could use an emergency off switch.'

Man who has hailed a taxi finds the driver is a crash test dummy.

'Okay - who removed Jessica's sunhat..?'

'We want more police on our streets!' 'WHAT?! Do you have any idea how dangerous it is out there?'

"How would you rate your toleration for risk?"

Under Capitalism, Expensive Equipment is Always, Unlike People, Innocent Until Proven Guilty