Workplace Revolutionist Pillows

"Somebody has suggested term limits for management."

'It's a chart of office morale. This is where you went on vacation.'

"Clear my schedule for the next five minutes. I feel the need for some spontaneous frivolity."

"I've never said this to a woman before, but here goes: We're not paying you enough."

'Take two tablets the moment you begin to feel indispensable.'

37 years in the same position.

"How's your insomnia?" "Bad, I can't even fall sleep during meetings."

"Rolled-up sleeves, no coat, loose tie...it's my casual confrontational look."

Man sees sign as he exits bathroom: 'Employees Often Wash Hands'.

"Now, let's get out there and walk really fast to places we don't want to be."

Hand Sanitizer Man, beloved superhero of every workplace in the world.

'How many times have I told to seize the day before it seizes you?'

'Don't worry about the company's pension plan. The way we work you, you'll be lucky to live that long!'

"You are being overly-defensive again, Brenda!"

"Hiring someone to replace me and then expecting me to train him just doesn't sit well with me."

'I need to talk to you about the coffee fund.'

'Did you just show your teeth at me Wilson?'

'Please leave the light on, dear. I'm afraid there might be OSHA inspectors under the bed.' 'Managers at Night.'

'It's 930am ma'am - time to meet the Board of Detractors.'

'The boss put his picture up to enspire us. But it just isn't having that effect on me.'

'Here's another one that'll make you blow your stack.'

Five doors: Push, Pull, Up High, Down Low, Too Slow.

'Can I call you back, Frank? A giant maggot is eating my desk, people are shooting at me and my hair is on fire.'

'Would you be interested in attending a stress management seminar?'

"Just heading out for a good cry, care to join me?"

'Don't bother cleaning out your desk. We'll be hiring you back as a consultant for half the salary and no benefits.'

"I suppose you want the rest of the day off!"

Work Slave

'Need I remind you who's boss here?'

"Motivational seminars are too expensive. Just buy stronger coffee."

"Look Billington, if you can't take the strain, tell me, ok?"

'You're developing a reputation as something of a cowboy, Henderson.'

Man suffering from rope burn due to climbing the corporate ladder

"Call my broker, fax my accountant, and get my groove back."

"They don't pull their punches here, do they."