Workplace Reformers Pillows

"We've had complaints from HR that we only appoint middle aged white men!"

'The big wigs told us to think of our facility as a temple. If that's the case, we must be the human sacrifices.'

'You did turn the company around... but we liked it the way it was...'

"How do you feel about working a four-day week?"

"We'll take a 10% cut in benefits if you'll take a 10% cut in stock options."

"That's a very good suggestion, perhaps one of the men would like to make it?"

"Is that legal? Can the old man force me to take a performance-enhancing drug."

"But we've been interviewing like this for years...why would we want to change now?"

'-Must remember to empty that...'

'Thank you but I'm a bit sensitive to ethnic food.'

Spell-Check Bee

'You're being evacuated to a better catchment area.'

'I won't be taking any more calls today. I threw my phone out the window.'

"Okay, I guess....first we had a lockdown drill, then we had an active shooter drill. Following that we had a fire drill. After that we got to meet out security guards. Then we watched a video on avoiding sexual predators...."

'I need to find you a company with strong anti-discrimination policies...'

"What a privilege to work in a historic factory building where so many workers before us were exploited."

'I am trying to bring about change.'

"I don't think this is a good place to work. Every time I fire someone or lay them off, they actually celebrate."

"We did all we could for him, Mrs. Donnely... unfortunately, his insurance gave out!"

"Any thoughts on how we might mark black history month?"

'Management can't avoid responsibility for poor patient care...I want to tender my resignation!'

"Somebody has suggested term limits for management."

"Due to the expenses involved with making our schools more resistant to mass shootings, we re forced to make large cuts in teacher pay and benefits...and you will be required to carry this glock 9mm...."

Making Amends: I haven't harrassed anyone in weeks....My new career: I'll be a secretary....to a female executive. Women can harass em all they life. I sentence myself to house arrest for 30 days, make that 90 days.

'I've gotten reports several of our employees are trying to make us look bad by applying for food stamps.'

"Excuse me, sir. Could I please have a word about the motivational posters?"

"The raise I'm asking for isn't just about me. It's about shrinking the income gap."

'I'm concerned gentlemen. Very concerned!'

'I'm fed up with being told we're all too dim to manage any but the simplest of voting systems.'

'Why do the staff feel so distant from me, Miss Swift?'

"So we're agreed that there is no need to change our recruitment policies."

'Insurance Tactic No. 472: Bully the victim into not making a claim.'

One suggestion for improved mine safety...

'Sir, can I talk to you? I'm a victim of bullying!'