Workplace Regulations Gifts

'I'm the new safety officer.'

'The 'insourcing' will go ahead and some jobs will be off to Leeds or Manchester, but I think I'll be safe...'

"Another week another dollar, Jenkins"

'And remember to emphasize we're giving them the opportunity to find a better job.'

Others will fight for you

"I'm going to need a little more for the root cause than, who'da thunk."

'What's wrong now?'

'Germaine, what did you do with my desk?'

"I was hoping there'd be no meetings here."

'It's a lateral move, you'll now be getting all of Kramer's work too.'

"Lost my job. But I'm pretty sure it's around here somewhere."

"We won!"

'Hey! Hey! You need a trout stamp! Where's your trout stamp?!'

"Hiring someone to replace me and then expecting me to train him just doesn't sit well with me."

'We have a strict don't-ask-don't-tell policy for salaries.'

'You'll get five paid sick days, plus an additional two when you're shedding your skin.'

'Please leave the light on, dear. I'm afraid there might be OSHA inspectors under the bed.' 'Managers at Night.'

'Your decade of experience is, unfortunately, from the wrong decade.'

"Wake up Thomas, it's not 2020. There's no Zoom camera to turn off to hide yourself."

"The boss likes people with strong convictions. You're hired."

'Yes, can I help you?'

'Bit of a staffing problem, Boss. We haven't got any left.'

National Boss Monument.

Moses holds up new federal regulation guidelines.

"You're hired. Now, I'll show you your desk, the break room, and the dented wall you're allowed to beat your head against."

'Frankly, our dental plan bites.'

"Yes, social media's a great way to express your opinions - shame you feel 'ignored and unappreciated by an aloof, faceless boss' - but that's because I haven't a clue who you are or what you do around here!"

Torn-Off Mouse.

'Once, long ago, I thought I was wrong...but it turned out I was mistaken.'

"He was orphaned at an early age and raised by two giant moths."

"Good morning Rudy. I suppose you're wondering why I've summond you....It's time for your annual performance review...."

'Sorry, I can't give you a raise. However, I can offer you a splendid opportunity to share the profits.'

'And we have an employee wellness program. By not offering health insurance or sick pay, we encourage wellness.'

Concerned that she would be passed over for a promotion if management knew she was pregnant, Donna concealed the fact.

'Productivity is up. Lay off a couple of more employees.'