Workplace Regulations Pillows

'I'm the new safety officer.'

"Another week another dollar, Jenkins"

'And remember to emphasize we're giving them the opportunity to find a better job.'

Others will fight for you

"I'm going to need a little more for the root cause than, who'da thunk."

'Germaine, what did you do with my desk?'

'What's wrong now?'

'It's a lateral move, you'll now be getting all of Kramer's work too.'

"I was hoping there'd be no meetings here."

"Lost my job. But I'm pretty sure it's around here somewhere."

"We won!"

"Hiring someone to replace me and then expecting me to train him just doesn't sit well with me."

'Hey! Hey! You need a trout stamp! Where's your trout stamp?!'

"Wake up Thomas, it's not 2020. There's no Zoom camera to turn off to hide yourself."

'Yes, can I help you?'

"The boss likes people with strong convictions. You're hired."

'Your decade of experience is, unfortunately, from the wrong decade.'

'Bit of a staffing problem, Boss. We haven't got any left.'

'Please leave the light on, dear. I'm afraid there might be OSHA inspectors under the bed.' 'Managers at Night.'

'You'll get five paid sick days, plus an additional two when you're shedding your skin.'

'We have a strict don't-ask-don't-tell policy for salaries.'

Moses holds up new federal regulation guidelines.

"You're hired. Now, I'll show you your desk, the break room, and the dented wall you're allowed to beat your head against."

Torn-Off Mouse.

"He was orphaned at an early age and raised by two giant moths."

'Frankly, our dental plan bites.'

'Once, long ago, I thought I was wrong...but it turned out I was mistaken.'

"Good morning Rudy. I suppose you're wondering why I've summond you....It's time for your annual performance review...."

"Yes, social media's a great way to express your opinions - shame you feel 'ignored and unappreciated by an aloof, faceless boss' - but that's because I haven't a clue who you are or what you do around here!"

'Sorry, I can't give you a raise. However, I can offer you a splendid opportunity to share the profits.'

'And we have an employee wellness program. By not offering health insurance or sick pay, we encourage wellness.'

"Barlow, it's come to my attention that you've called in, 'Playing Possum' 8 days this month."

"These are just the guidelines, the forms are in the truck outside!"