Regulations Gifts

'I've been here so long I don't remember what I did, but it had something to do with non-compliance.'

Can you do another draft of this? There's still a couple of sentences people might understand

"It's the S.E.C. How do you plead?"

'Just a minute!'

May or May not be Hazardous Material...

'Could you bring me the new investment regulations you downloaded yesterday?' 'It's still downloading.'

'I'm just running this past legal.'

Health and Safety

Government 101 - Do not walk.

'You forgot the product label.'

Environmental Protection Agency

'A regulatory body is here to see you!'

"Uh oh, here come more regulations."

'Oh, that place...? we shut that down AGES ago!'

'The health and safety officer isn't happy. He want's you to tie your shoelaces.'

How Many It Takes

'It's an EC directive listing regulation sizes for molecular structures.'

'Let's dump the balloons and do a re-weigh.'

An astronaut sees a sign saying zoning in force.

'There's no need for confusion. Part 935 of Mining Regulation 823, Section 323 in Article L clearly states . . . '

Stop! Mad cows are forbidden to cross the border!

'Who gets to be the SOB who quotes us the regulations?'

"Well, if you want Santa to visit, you'll have to widen the chomney by 12.4 centimetres, install non-slip roof tiles, build a landing platform and provide organic food and toilet facilities for his reindeer..."

'We need to be more proactive less reactive.'

'Fetch help quickly...the Health and Safety book's fallen on him.'

'Have legal check it out. If there are regs, and everyone finds ways to avoid them, are there really regs?'

'Thank goodness the FDA now requires us to number each grape. We were almost caught up around here.'

'When they say EVERY possible risk needs a sign I don't think they meant you!'

'No smoking in the building, Haskins.'

'Here is the lead-based paint information, Fair Housing criteria, laws regarding tobacco use outdoors slip-and-fall warning, and barring any further public hysteria, the lease itself.'

'Ah, those were great days. The Pre-Accountability Era.'

'I don't care what he does, I'm not bowing this time.'

How the carbon tax works: 'Any questions?'

"We won!"

'I love doing surprise inspections.'