Workplace Politics Aficionado Gifts

"No, a dressing down day isn't an opportunity to bollock the staff."

"Another job well done by your conflict resolution specialist."

"I'm expert at sniffing out blame."

Sir Winston Churchill

'Sire, Sodom and Gomorrah are requesting Federal disaster relief aid.'

"The best part is that we got hell to pay for it."

"He's the chief watchdog, who watches over all the other watchdogs—but this must be his night off."

"Don't be sad, Bud. These decisions are so political."

"VP J.D. Vance called Donald: 'cynical asshole,' a 'moral disaster,' a 'total fraud,' an 'idiot,' and suggested he might be 'America’s Hitler.'"

'The massive arrests have made the plans for downsizing much easier.'

Not a surprise, coming from the new boss - who looks about 6 years old.

'When training my son, keep him totally ignorant. I'm grooming him to be VP in-charge-of -denials.'

Barack Obama, Angela Merkel and David Cameron are ecstatic about the possibility of a free trade agreement between the U.S. and the European Union.

"You calm down."

Scapegoat of the Year

"Nobody is to blame until we pick someone."

John F. Kennedy

'Underestimate him at your own risk. When he first came here, everybody laughed and said he didn't have a snowball's chance. Now he's our regional supervisor. Go figure!'

Idlib, Syria - The final stage

'Here you are, Simmons!'

"So how did the rest of the team respond to your promotion?"

"And this will allow people the freedom to express themselves through the talking points of their choosing."

The North Portico of the White House runs away crying.

'Miss Pringle, I run a tight ship! What is this piece of paper doing on my desk?'

'Who cares what she thinks? Grow a pair and buy the damn thing.'

Pecking order.

'You are smarter, faster and more efficient than Carter... they's why I'm making you the new assistant to Carter!'

"And, for insurance purposes, you must buy insurance."

"You scratch my back, I'll scratch your is just a figure of speech, Ned. A little left, and higher."

Hostage Crisis Continues: 'We don't care what the people voted for! We want out way!'

"Hacking and eavesdropping are my top skills. I guess you could say I'm a good listener."

'We should e-mail this and point out that many of our victims were in key marginals...'

Today, tech stocks rose on news the latest gadgets avoided internet censorship by the Iranian government.'