Workplace Investigator Gifts

"I'm going to need a little more for the root cause than, who'da thunk."

"Someone put something rude about me in the suggestion box. Our corporate forensic scientist is analyzing fingerprints, DNA and security video as we speak."

'Am I being too suspicious or do you think it's possible that they're crooked?'

'And remember to emphasize we're giving them the opportunity to find a better job.'

'Still not ready to talk? Ok dip him again.'

Round up all the king's horses and all the king's men for questioning.

"I can't decide if we're good people who are bad at communicating, or monsters who communicate perfectly."

"I'll have the Investigator's Special."

"We'd better watch Cranston. He looks like a whistleblower."

Lady Justice and Confidential Files

"You're either lying or not telling the truth."

Giant pandas doing surveillance in a zoo.

Money laundering - shows money flowing out of US vault.

OK! I promise that the questions will be easy!

'Here, we started to be investigated...'

'It was part way through the initial investigation that detective Walters felt as if he was being watched, but there was no one in the room. No one that is except the cat, who sat contently on the chair and watched him with an almost human repose.'

"It's either the Ten Commandments or the Mueller Report."

"OK, we may not have ways of making you talk, but we do have ways of making your leg twitch uncontrollably."

Acme-5000 Lie Detector

The lion statues in front of New York City Library are replaced with spies.

"Missing a call is no excuse for eating your assistant."

Explorer with enormous magnifying glass.

"Absolutely, Senator, in my mind it was always my country first, and obscene profits second."

'I believe the murderer is in this very room.'

Office of the Special Investigator: Stepped out to follow the 'money trail'.

'Is that a suspicious package in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?'

'All applicants for employment must first submit to a company physical - We use it to eliminate anyone with a backbone.'

'So, in room 1 we sweat them. 2 is for grilling, 3 is for roasting. We leave them to simmer in room 4...'

"The DNA sample from the mink fibres found in the suspect's car matched the DNA sample from the mink coat found at the scene of the crime, so I'm thinking, maybe these minks were twins?"

'According to this, you ate all the pies.'

You're right, boss, there may be too much idle chit-chat, but let me talk it over with my friends.

'Have you decided who's going to be team leader?'

"Lord, save my ass from this Russia debacle, please!"