Workplace Intrigue Gifts

"I suppose we could just ask her what she does around here...but I'm rather enjoying the mystery."

'I heard the Board was talking about kicking you, but I don't know if it's upstairs or out.'

"Did you hear that that bastard McMinney has buggered of to work for Bank of America!"

'I'm a fat cat in a dog-eat-dog world.'

"You would be perfect if you weren't you!"

"The water does taste a little funny. Maybe they added analgesics, to ease the pain of restructuring."

"I missed your last few words. Would you please mumble them again?"

"If I'd known you were not looking for experience I wouldn't have lied on my CV."

My husband doesn´t understand you.

"I know this is just my humble opinion, but it's backed by the most comprehensive rumor, gossip and speculation this office can provide!"

Office Politics Superstore.

'Never roll your eyes while the boss is talking.'

I was hoping you might convince him by demonstrating the quality of the product.

"So what kind of mood is he in?"

"So who else is gonna be there?"

"We're streamlining efficiency by cutting the staff who we employed to improve efficiency."

'Forget about me - what can you tell me about the new CEO coming on board?'

"The defibrillators are used when someone is either having a heart attack or trying to leave early."

"Encouraging dissent is a good way of finding out who the traitors are."

'How's the meeting going, Ed?'

"Of course, I'm not suggesting that you should also bail."

A big announcement is coming at work.

"It's a plant based solution."

At Gossips Anonymous...

"Call a meeting, Miss Pendleton. I want to hear some Corporate Creole."

"You'll fit right in. You have a great sense of rumor."

"Pretty good day. I wasn't linked to anything incriminating."

"I hear he's getting six figures a year."

"Well, I finally did it - I told my boss you said he should go to hell."

'Send it out confidential. I want everyone to read it.'

"Did you hear that Henderson ascended to Heaven amid the entire angelic assembly? You can't buy publicity like that."

"Had half of Fox-and-Friends gnawing my ass this morning."

Two workers chatting by vending machine: 'Who are you working on at the moment?'

'He says he can't bear a fool - well his mother did!'